“Neither” is always a choice, @Facade. Here was my answer over in the other place, where the questioner said she just loved to entertain:
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Entertaining stresses me out to the point that my husband and I end up snapping at each other right up until the doorbell rings. It’s gotten better in recent years, but probably mostly because we don’t do it as much. I get terrible cases of performance anxiety beforehand, even though the event itself always turns out fine.
Being a guest usually makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, as if I can’t quite get the host’s good intentions and mine to match up. I have never gotten used to the California style of entertainment, where everyone brings something and kind of pitches in and the host has to manage every occasion as a potluck. Where I come from, the host provides the event and supplies the refreshments, and the guests are guests. You don’t try to combine the roles. In their turn the guests become hosts on their own terms, and then it’s their show. You don’t have to constantly make room on your table for someone’s unwanted salad or pie, or figure out how to help the host be a host by assuming hosting roles and attitudes when you’re the guest. Nor do I want people to march into my kitchen and start doing things. I like having a clear set of expectations for different roles and not trying to turn everything into a communal service.
If I had to do one or the other, I guess I’d prefer to entertain, but not because I like it, just because then I’m in charge.
Sorry, now you’ll never want to come to my house, I know, though I do try hard to be as gracious and accommodating as possible and I do knock myself out just like you to make it as nice an occasion as I can, taking care with every detail and yet trying to make everything feel comfortable and easy. (The more thoroughly I have prepared, the more I can relax when the time comes.) I just kind of wish people would stay home and let me do the same. I’d rather meet friends for dinner out than pretend that home entertaining and enjoying myself have anything in common.