I know this is really hard, but really, try not to compare yourself to other people. I did that, and I just drove my self-esteem right down to the center of the earth. One of the nice things about fluther is that, at least until recently, they avoided things that encouraged people comparing themselves to others.
It’s a kind of yoga practice. In yoga, they tell you it doesn’t matter how you are compared to anyone else. What matters is that you work and do what you can. There’s no coach yelling at you to work harder, and stretch further. It’s all about comfort and taking your own path.
Well, the same is true for relationships. If you compare yourself to others, you’re going to want to dig out your own eyeballs. If you stretch yourself in a way you are comfortable with, then you don’t give yourself an injury.
The whole idea is to take care of yourself. Try not to make yourself crazy. You may get impatient, bu then you get desperate, and instead of helping yourself, you hurt yourself. It’s better just to give up. Then you can relax, and focus on doing what you do. If you do that, you may surprise yourself with what happens. Stop trying. Just do what makes you happy without hurting others. If you don’t force it, but just keep working at it, eventually you’ll loosen things up a bit, and you will find yourself in a better place to get what you want.