I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have to remember though that you did nothing wrong. You did not deserve this, and I promise that time will pass and you’ll feel better eventually. I had a breakdown a few years ago and had to literally re-build myself. I’m still shaky and not as strong a person as I was, but I learned so much from the process, Hell though it was, to go through. Part of what I learned about myself is that I am a sap :-). I should explain. I was raised with the fundemental rule that being greedy was wrong. If you were not willing to share, you did not deserve whatever it was. I still believe this, I always will. Unfortunately, i made friends in school who are just world class users. I mean I could tell you stories that would make your hair stand on end, and the worst part of it was that i just put up with it. As I say I had a breakdown and was very very ill for a long time. and in trying to re-build myself I was forced to look at my life far more closely than was comfortable. I looked back at the past and I am so angry at myself. it was like scales fell off my eyes and I could see things clearly for the first time ever. Funnily enough, as hurtful, spiteful, callous and manipulative as they had been over the 25 years or so, I can’t be angry with them. Only with myself. After all I allowed it, I allowed them to steal, lie and mooch to a baffling degree etc from me. Maybe someday I’ll be able to transfer this anger where it belongs, who knows. I’ve never ever been able to hold grudges though and that is my weakness.
Friends should always be there for you, Ashley, Always. No ifs or buts. Just as you are for them. Thing is, the world is full of wonderful people (took me a long time to be able to see that) but it is, and the users, the jerks, the people who hurt you just for the sake of it, or for their own convenience, or to make themselves feel better about their own life, I do believe they are in the minority. I also believe they are drawn to people they can use. I do get the impression that you are a lovely person, try not to let this person stop you from seeing the good in others, because it is there. Think of yourself though honey, be kind to yourself and don’t let this person hurt you again. I had to do that. There were a few things they did after my breakdown that hurt me so much they almost pushed me backwards down the road I’d travelled to getting well again, so I decided I could either let them hurt me or decide not to. I cut off contact with them because I have a weakness where these friends are concerned. I still love them both but I acknowledge that I mean less than nothing to them. There are no easy answers, but stay strong and know you are a wonderful person who is worth a whole universe more than this person. Sending you hugs xx