Sometimes it’s about hedonism. Sometimes it’s about desperation. Sometimes it’s a kind of mental illness. Sometimes it’s a lack of self-control. Sometimes it’s selfishness. Sometimes it’s a lack of empathy. Sometimes people don’t have enough love, and need other lovers. Sometimes it’s a symptom of a much deeper problem. Well, usually it’s a symptom of a much deeper problem.
Why can’t they control themselves? Have none of you ever been unable to control yourself? Do you know why? Do you attribute it to some moral failure on your part? Some weakness you have? Sometimes we do things and we have no idea how we could do them or why we do them.
Maybe it’s our genes. Maybe there are some people with subconscious motivations they can not control. People need different things, and they don’t always think they are going to hurt someone else. They think they can keep it secret and no one will notice. Who knows how many people like that there are? Can we all be sure we know what our spouses are doing?
If you can’t tell the difference, then how can the cheating matter? Maybe people lie about it, because they hope it won’t matter. They hope their spouse won’t know the difference.
There’s probably as many reasons to cheat as there are cheaters. The same with lying. I think people have different needs, and many probably don’t believe in exclusivity, but society just doesn’t support non-monogamous ways of being. Trapped in a system they don’t believe in, they try to hide what they are doing.