I try to make the best of a bad situation, but I don’t think I’m very successful. Sometimes I have been—like getting fired and then getting a much better job. Over the last couple of years, I found out I had a brain chemistry disorder. Part of it left me so depressed, I had a hard time imagining going on with life.
I don’t know if I can make lemonade out of bipolar disorder. I keep on wondering if there is a silver lining in here, somewhere. It has made me feel my emotions more deeply. Some people might say that is good. I can cry much more easily now. Some would think that is a good thing. I understand depression now, and I never did before. Maybe I’m more empathetic.
But it also leaves me obsessed with issues related to mental health. I hardly talk about anything else. It has damaged an already shaky sense of self-worth. It leaves me feeling empty and unsure of how to deal with that. Sometimes making really big mistakes in trying to feel worth anything.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m a bad cook. Seems to me that it’s awfully hard to make lemonade out of some ingredients.