I think our beliefs about our emotions are not always true. I think that we sometimes lie about our emotions. Therefore it is hard to know if you should believe what someone says about their emotions.
Suppose someone said to you, “I’m a bad person. You’d be better off without me in your life.” How would that make you feel? Would you take this person at face value? Would you think that you would be better off without the person, because they told you so?
If someone said they loved you, or they hated you—would you believe them? What if the person saying these things was a stranger?
I think that for most emotions, you’re better off ignoring what the person says and looking at how they behave. I, for example, would tell you that you are wasting your time if you bother to read anything I write. I would tell you not to pay attention to my advice or my comments, since I’m usually wrong. I wouldn’t blame you if you flagged all my comments. I’d be hurt, but I couldn’t fault you for doing that.
Would you believe me? Would you think I’m a waste of time just because I said so? Or would you read my comments, and make a decision based on your own criteria? Would you maybe think that I underestimate the quality of what I write? Maybe you’d even decide there was something wrong with me that I could say such things about myself.
I think that people often do not know themselves very well. But it’s tricky. Sometimes we lie deliberately. Sometimes we hide things from ourselves. But you can’t know whether I’m lying, hiding, mistaken, unconscious or giving you an accurate account of my true feelings and beliefs. You certainly can’t tell me what I’m thinking or who I am. All you can do is listen to what I say, and decide whether that jibes with how I behave. If it doesn’t, you can call me on it, or not, depending on what you want to do.