Do you experience love through sex?
I was never abused as a child, either. At least, not to my memory. However, I don’t think I was ever given enough love to make me feel secure. Now, I find myself seeking more and more love. The way I know someone loves me is if they make love to me.
Obviously, it’s a problem, since I have to constantly fight the demands of my psyche, as expressed through my body. I seem to need a constant reaffirmation that I am loved. The urge to connect with people on an intensely deep level is like the pressure of a lake against a dam. I feel like I am horny most of the time. When I’m manic, it’s as if a huge thunderstorm has filled the lake to the overflowing. Is the dam strong enough to hold that energy in? Sometimes it isn’t.
Anyway, if sex is linked to other psychological needs for you, as it is for me, that might help explain what is going on. I think some people call it an addiction. My psychiatrist says he doesn’t know what hypersexuality is. I’m not sure it’s a universally accepted condition.
I think that some of us just need more sex. Some of us need it so much, it isn’t possible to get enough. I think it’s not just sex we need, but the kind of relationship that sex implies. It may be a need that one person simply can not fill. Of course, in this society, it is not acceptable to have more than one relationship of an intensity that has to be expressed through love making. You’re left hoping the dam is strong enough to keep the lake from overflowing.