Man I’ve tried to live a meager life wondering why exactly I deserved any more than the homeless person. Never ever use credit and buy my vehicles under $2500.
In the past year, the guilt has actually turned around. I pick up my kid from school in a beater van when all the other parents have mostly newer nicer cars. Obviously the repairs on an old junk car can eat away at the finances and my kid has started asking why “our” car has so many problems.
Money is not the issue. My stupidity is the issue.
The guilt turned around when I felt guilty about embarrassing my child. He wants to be proud of his father and I should not deny him that right. I also realized that my job was to set an example to others and be the very best person I could be. That means keeping myself and my possessions clean and well maintained. I look at things differently now, understanding that it’s not so much a matter of whether or not I deserve more than the next person, rather than if I’ve actually earned the privilege or not. A false sense of entitlement is an ugly beast. A false sense of impoverishment is even uglier.
So, three days ago, I had the salvage yard come and tow my junk vehicles away for good. I bought a (used) shiny black sports car and can’t wait to pick the boy up from school tomorrow. Do I feel guilty about that? Not at all. I earned it.