I have never been too depressed to fluther. Fluther is often the only thing that can make any difference when I’m depressed. The people here have provided me with invaluable support, making it possible to feel, at times, that I do have something useful to offer. Something that some people even appreciate.
I can’t tell you how amazing it is to feel that way. I keep fighting it, and trying to deny it, not because I don’t want it to be true, but because I’ve never wanted anything more, and never been afraid of anything more. It’s too much, and I’m afraid it’ll disappear at any moment, and then I will be bereft again—only much more so.
But at least here I have hope. Someone might say something to appreciate me. Someone might like me. Someone might be interested in talking to me. These momentary contacts are good. I might wish for more extended contact—but that’s not really possible online. If only we could teleport to the fluther pub, where we could always see someone we liked.
Ah… what a fantasy….