What was the situation?
Deciding whether or not my in-laws would remain in our lives.
How did you make that choice? What was your thinking?
My mother in law lives in a house with her husband, my husband’s two brothers, their SO’s and their children. My mother in law and one of my husband’s brothers abuse prescription medication, which includes buying it off the street. My husband’s brother has stolen from all of us, sold his body to other men for drug money and I witnessed one of the many times he was so close to death I am amazed he survived. She takes 10— 12 methadone a day. He has taken up to over 40 vicodin in one sitting.
She loves my children. They love her so much. It was always fun at Grandma’s house for them. They don’t have great relationships with my parents, so it was their closest family connection they had. We just got so tired of false promises and we finally realized that we couldn’t fix it.
How did you both feel before making the choice and after?
Me Before: At the end of my rope, tired of being disappointed
My Husband Before: Fed up, felt like his own mother didn’t love him
Me After: Relief, Sadness, Still dealing with my childrens grief a year later, but I know the decision was correct. We heard last week that she burnt her kitchen so badly it needed to be gutted because she was cooking at 3 in the morning all drugged up.
My Husband After: Even bigger relief. He no longer talks to any of his family members on his mother’s side. If they aren’t addicts then they are enablers. He feels that although we hurt our children with the decision, we made the best decision for their future that we knew how to make. His brothers are 22 and 25 and living in their drug addicted mother’s basement. The cycle has to stop somewhere.