I don’t play baseball for a living because I suck at it. The guys in porn aren’t what you should compare yourself to. And if you are stressing yourself out over this it will just get worse.

Enjoy yourself and use your tongue.

BDSM

It’s easy to have sex as long as porn star, if you’re willing to hire a film and editing crew.

@johnpowell Lotta love coming your way :-)

Google it first off . Just ignore the adverts for powders ;-)

There are ways to do this, but I would first like to say that it has alot to do with comfort and confidence. Worrying too much can lead to the problems stated, so unfortunately you must do what is counter intuitive and be cool, calm etc.

The best way to improve such problems are in a long term relationship, talk about these problems with your partner and work it through.

But never try to compare yourself to porn stars, it’s an unrealistic picture of sex, be yourself and trust in CornBird Jnr ;-)

Porn is completely unrealistic, or else I would have banged those two good looking ladies I saw at the store earlier today.

And since I also have this problem, I’ll be reading the answers too =P

I’m with @johnpowell. As a woman, it wouldn’t bother me if you came too quickly as long as I get mine.

It’s a good question, in terms of lasting longer before climaxing I’m not too sure, but if you try some viagra, that should allow you to go again with little or no delay and will go a considerable way towards resolving the soft issue.

Just don’t go for the max strength type initially, I tried them out of curiousity and a bit of fun once and although it was great at the time I felt like I was having heart palpitations afterwards.

Rub one out beforehand. Second time around, it takes more time to “finish”.

This is only a “problem” insofar as you allow it to bother you. Almost all men have similar symptoms at some point in their sexual lives, and with premature ejaculation it is very nearly universal in younger men. There are numerous techniques for learning to forestall ejaculation, some of them are kind of funj, most of the fun ones require a partner who is willing to assist, and they pretty much all work. Relax, be honest about it, find a partner who has a sense of humor about these things, and you will soon be counseling others.

The only tip is that when you feel that you will soon come, pull out, change position or stimulate the girl with hands or tongue, go at it again and repeat. I think practice and a longer relationship will take care of your problem.

@seeing_red Very humble.

Think about how a bill becomes a law. Then think about the process backwards.

Check your condom size. Despite what they say, one size does not fit all. Try different sizes (just like your other head, it won’t work right if it’s being strangled).

@oratio Joking!

In all seriousness, I’d want to have an orgasm at the same time as my partner, but if that cannot be achieved then I accept it. The men I’ve been with (though admittedly it hasn’t been many and not in several years) always over-analyze it. I can cum just from knowing my partner is about to cum. If they communicate that to me, I work harder to cum at the same time.

I think the message is all about confidence. But i have heard that exercise has alot to do with it too, like having improved stamina from running or playing football. Is it true?

From my experience, too much stamina or staying-power left me abraded and sore. Simultaneous orgasms are nice but not necessary. Before and during an orgasm, one is pretty occupied with self, don’t you think?

Use a condom, or a thicker one than you’re used to (try some different types). Great for reducing sensitivity if premature is the problem.

As much foreplay for her as possible. She’ll love the attention of you going down on her, and it’ll ensure she gets pleasure no matter how long you last.

Alter the rhythm, pause if you feel you’re getting close. Withdraw if need be and use wanting to go down on her again as an excuse if need be. .

THat said, own it! In other words, be honest and say you just love to cum and you find her amazingly exciting. Confidence is attractive. So accept yourself and so will she.

With regards to getting soft. Make sure you’re comfortable with the girl. Sex can be awkward or nerve racking otherwise. So take your time and be with a woman who You really want (not a woman who you think you should want). A woman who is as much a friend as a lover.

Also, try to stay in shape (no idea if you are or not). It’ll make you feel more confident, perhaps make her feel more attracted, and potentially improve your performance. Also, watch the booze and the joints…both (if you’re into it), can drop the drive if used too much.

Sex is as much psychology as anything (especially if you’ve had some bad experiences). Don’t dwell on the past. It happens to everyone as far as I can tell and if it really is getting to you and you can’t solve it on your own…then go have a chat to someone. Ideally the girl you’re crazy about….if she’s worth pleasing she’ll be supportive and understanding…if not, move on.

P.S. Hang in there (tee hee…). With the right girl things always work out.

I think there’s an issue of timing here. It seems to me that with many women, the woman needs a head start. It takes her longer to “relax”; longer to get in the mood; longer to want to have an orgasm. In fact, some women like the process much more, and may not even care if they have an orgasm. It’s the closeness and connection they want; not so much the thrill. Other women are faster, or more into orgasms, and it’s obviously different with them.

Men, as we all know, can cum in about a minute if they’re really anxious. So, give her a head start. Pleasure her. Fingers, tongue, head, thigh—whatever seems to be needed at the moment. But also work on the teasing. Gaining her attention—focusing on her eyes, the touches, keeping her from knowing what will happen next.

Enjoy it, too. Show your enjoyment. Let her know that she is the sexiest woman on earth, and as she gets closer, she may start begging you to get more involved. Hold back. This is where the teasing can be so much fun and so rewarding. Entering her only slightly and pulling back. Gradually letting more in. Maybe she’ll grab you and make you go deeper. But pull out, and hold the tension as long as you can.

I’m not sure what you’re talking about when you say you get soft. Is this before or after you cum? If it’s after, then you definitely want to delay your orgasm. If it’s before—I don’t know what to say. It has to be mental—like maybe you’re not really into it, or maybe you don’t really connect with the girl. Maybe you just hopped in the sack too fast. It’s not like that’s the goal of a relationship. Unless all you want to do is get your rocks off. The goal is to be known and accepted and loved, and then it really is love making, not just fucking.

Ok, so we’ve held the tension as long as possible, and she is writhing and doing everything she can to complete it, and you hear her breath doing that little catching thing. And if she is really noisy, she is just grunting and screaming and pulling your hair or scratching your back, then give her as much as you can while still holding back as much as you can. When she cums you can let go, too.

And when her hips are pushing against yours and she wants as much of you inside her as she can get, and her wetness and yours is everywhere and you slide and slam and then you scream if you’re a screamer or tense up and this little sound from the depth of your throat finds it’s way out, or your pussy squeezes rhythmically…

All right then. But that’s just the standard kind of sex. There is so much more to explore. So many different positions. So many games. So much enticement and seduction. Oh gosh! You can spend years trying them out, and even longer writing about it.

[edit]

I failed to mention what is perhaps the most important thing. Well, I mentioned it, but really I showed it instead of talking about it. And that’s it: talk. Communication. Discussing how to please each other. It’s ok to do that. There are some women who want it all to be natural and perfect, so you don’t have to talk about it, but in the real world, it is rarely so easy. So you have to talk.

It can be difficult to start talking. I think many of us are embarrassed discussing such sensitive issues with people we really care about (I hope). Now here is an area where I don’t have much to say. I’ve never been good at bringing up these issues. Maybe when we first get together, but the longer we’ve been together, the more important things become and the riskier it is to talk. So, for me, doing it early is best. I can do it then because there is less at stake. Who knows? Maybe you won’t even like each other after this. So….

Don’t delay. Talk today!

@daloon I hear you

@daloon

That… comment… scared me just a little.

But still sending Lurve your way ;-)

1. Change positions more
2. Do a better warmup… for HER
3. Stretching is always helpful… j/k
4. Think of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day
5. Viagra?
6. Get over it… if your partner isn’t understanding of something that happens… because sometimes it just does… than you need a new partner
7. Sex therapy?

@daloon: Pass me a tissue, please.

Use a strapon.

ha ha ha… ”... trust in cornbird Jnr”
Actually that’s not bad advice. Don’t rush because you think Jr. is going to let you down before you make anything happen because that’s kind of guaranteeing he will. Don’t panic if you think Jr. isn’t 100% rock solid because it makes him self conscious and he will want to shrink away to avoid your wrath (you swearing at him… long sighs… a slap or pinch). Slow down and have penetration when he’s hard enough and maybe with some assistance- play at “just putting in the tip” or have your partner press their fingers against Jr.‘s base as you move in and out because it kind of keeps him there and also adds pressure and stimulation that might get him harder to where you feel like you can relax. Coming too quickly might be your reaction to worrying about how long you can stay hard. Work on the whole package by talking to your partner, slowing down and really enjoying foreplay which really should be “all throughout” play. Some intercourse, some play, some more intercourse, some more play. If your partner is patient and feels you really are into them then they’ll probably be willing to work on variety with you, kind of a challenge. Focus more on getting your partner off and that will relax you about your own timing. I find 69’ing great for delaying the orgasms of both people because you each get focused on the pleasure of the other and there’s a great buildup of sexual tension as to who’s going to back off and come first or if it’ll change over to intercourse.

@daloon Speachless… Damn GA!

What @oratio said is how my boyfriend goes about it. Works amazing for us.

@daloon I’m a lesbian and even I got off on that. GA.

oh, and what @daloon said too. That is also an amazing route to take.
:D

Damn @daloon just… damn.

Hand the tissue box this way, @ratboy. GA @daloon, very GA. I have to say, my last boyfriend had this problem, and it bothered him a lot, but it rarely bothered me. Of course, if I was really into it, and then he came but I still wanted more right then, I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, but he still had a mouth tongue and fingers and that was never disappointing. Like @daloon said, some women just enjoy the act more than the actual orgasm, and of COURSE i enjoy a good orgasm but sex in a deep and meaningful relationship is so much more than just a physical thing, it’s the closeness too that’s so important. And thats why it didn’t matter all that much to me, it was enough just to be close to him. I feel corny, so I’m not even gonna re read what I wrote.

What kind of timetable are we talking about when you say you cum too quickly? How much rest do you need afterward?

I think lots of men misunderstand when the sex is over; it’s not done after the guy orgasms for the first time (and sometimes not after the second time either). Do your thing, cum, rest for a couple of minutes (by rest I mean pleasure your partner with anything but your penis) and then go again. I might only last 10–15 minutes the first time around, but the second go takes 30–45 minutes (the third one usually doesn’t end until the lady is sore). Change positions often, change your rhythm and pull out once in a while to do other stuff. When I just started having sex, I remember trying to think of non-sexual things during sex to stave off the moment of climax (like movies, sports, or whatever). It worked back then.

You should also practice with yourself. Masturbation is your friend. With most guys, the goal is to get off as quickly as possible. Your goal should be to make it take as long as possible. When you feel your orgasm approaching, see what you can do to not cum but stay hard. During sex one time, I discovered that squeezing my erect penis with my hand gave me a couple of extra minutes every time I did it (with diminishing returns in delay each time, of course).

I have no experience with this myself, but I’ve read that flexing your “pee” muscle can help (the muscle you use to hold in your pee). Try squeezing it now. Go ahead, I’m waiting…... If you exercise that muscle enough (several sets a day for a few weeks), it seems you’ll have better control of when you cum. I don’t have experience with this though, so take it with a grain of salt.

The issue of “softness” has to do with arousal. You need to be very attracted to your lady friend to stay hard. If you’re having trouble, you just might not be into her.

Well that is a great question.
Let me start by saying that most men have experienced premature ejaculation at least once in their lives (courtesy Men’s Health magazine). To answer the question, simple: proper breathing.
Like when you train at the gym, the importance of proper breathing will make all the difference. If you are in good cardiac shape you should have no problem with this.
That’s a good New Year’s resolution right there: get more exercise to improve sex.

try jacking off before you have sex, wear a thick(er) condom, try desensitizing lube

Every time you fell “it” coming on. Change up positions.

First and foremost, the most important thing to learn is how to bring your s/o to orgasm whenever she’s ready. There is a specific position my wife enjoys that allows her to orgasm each and every time, provided I don’t lose my erection…which brings me to my second point:

Know your limitations. Whenever I feel my erection start to wane or I reach the point I’m about to “finish”, I stop and tell my wife it’s time to “assume the position”. Learn that and your s/o is always satisfied and you don’t come away embarrassed.

Finally, understand that you’re not running a marathon race. Pace yourself. When you feel yourself start to “lose it”, back off. Use some forplay for awhile. Then when you’ve calmed down a bit, resume what you were doing. Again, whenever you’ve reached your limit, assume your “special position” and bring your s/o to orgasm.

Hope this helps.