I’m 53 years old, and I find that I understand myself less and less. I’m a pretty good observer of myself, and pretty decent at analyzing myself, but at some deeper level (deeper than the intellectual), I find that I am doing more and more things that don’t make sense. It feels like craziness.

So, it’s late at night, and I’m frustrated due to a very obstinate computer, and I probably shouldn’t ask a question like this, because it’s as if I were on mind-altering substances. Fuck it.

I feel like I’m trying to turn my life upside down. My wife thinks I’m angry with her (I wasn’t; it was the damn computer), but it is true that I am more volatile these days. More impulsive as well. I think I’m crazy.

Other people say it’s just normal behavior. They don’t think it is anything to note. Maybe so. Maybe so.

So do you ever think you’re crazy? What makes you think so? Do you ever mystify yourself? Do other people notice? I have so much nervous energy that I’m shaking. But now I’m going to bed, and I’m going to pretend I’m normal for the next few days until this all goes away. What do you do when you’re crazy?

Topics: social, mood, human behavior, mental, crazy, silly, introspection, BOO, self-analysis