The problem with this idea is that it goes two ways. On the one side, it suggests that we take responsibility for our lives and that most of our problems result from things we did. If we take responsibility, we can fix them. On the other side, it says we are to blame for our own problems, and that if we only hadn’t been such stupid wusses, we wouldn’t have any problems.
The first understanding is somewhat constructive, and urges people to be proactive. The second understanding is a recipe for disaster.
I think these things are mostly handed out by inspirational speakers. They get people all riled up with their own power. “You can do it” is their mantra. For me, it’s pretty much crap. I know the “you can do it” sensibility in my sleep. Hell, I’ve handed it out on many an occasion, when I used to be a trainer, or when I teach my kids.
You can will yourself into happiness or responsibility or success, but when you don’t, then you take the whole responsibility on yourself. You vilify yourself. You wonder what you are this piece of shit who can’t make the simplest thing happen.
Obviously, I don’t think this is a useful approach any more. I don’t think judging ourselves is very healthy or helpful. I’m king of judgers, and I sure do a number on myself. In the end, I sort of know that none of it matters, except it does. Jobs are at stake. Relationships are at stake. Lives are at stake.
When someone commits suicide, are they the creator of their own problem?