I just think it is very appropriate to lie in certain circumstances. I was taught to lie for safety reasons. If a stranger comes to the door I was to say my mom is not able to come to the door right now, not she isn’t home, even if the truth is she was not home. Children witness adults telling fibs all of the time to protect other people’s feelings or make others feel good.
Plus, I recently told my neice if she feels peer pressure and does not feel able to go against it to lie if she has to. When I was in high school I used to tell friends I already drank at home when they were trying to get me to drink so they would shut up. As I got older I became more confident in saying, “no, I don’t drink.” Or, there were times I said my mom would not let me go, to save face. I don’t see those lies as very damaging. I would also point out that I pretty much was very honest and open with my mom, I told her everything. It was not confusing to me.
I also perceived my parents as being very open and honest with each other, so I think that was a model I follow in adult relationships. You get what you give most of the time.
I think of myself as a very honest person. I cannot imagine lying to my husband or a friend, or hiding something. I have nothing to hide.