I want to slowly waste away to nothing and fight it every goddamn step of the way. I love a great fight, and by God, I don’t want to be cheated out of this one. I want the chance to tell my daughters how to handle damn near every possible bullshit story that’s going to hit ‘em. I want the chance to teach them how to spot bullshit with pinpoint accuracy, and how significant it is that they were not born with astroturf foreheads with WELCOME stamped on it.
I want the pending death to push me to teach them with urgency that I could never have in my daily life, how important it is to love mightily and embrace life with all the strength they can muster. I want to tell them how important it is to have character, and that you can’t fully have character until you let go of the damn past.
I want to make SURE they know what my mistakes are so that they never make ‘em. I want to sing songs with them that mean something – and record ALL of it. I want to sprinkle loads and loads flower petals on top of them while they giggle. I want to play This Old Man, and contemplate with them what the hell a knick-knack-paddy-wack is. I wanna have family hugs – often! Like we do now. But it’ll MEAN more then.
I want to love them as hard as I can, as long as I can. But after that, I am ready to go, baby. Because I tell ya, this ride has really sucked for me. In my last days, I wanna fucking LIVE! All the best life has to offer, condensed into a few months of everloving JOY. Man, what a way to go :)