Social Question

Silhouette's avatar

Hey, where did you get that confidence?

Asked by Silhouette (8845points) December 17th, 2009
20 responses
“Great Question” (3points)

Some people have more self confidence than others? Where did your self confidence come from? Have you always had it or did you have to build it? What did you use for building materials?

“If I have the belief that I can do it,
I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it
even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

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SirGoofy's avatar

Born with it.

NUNYA's avatar

The way you were brought up, In my opinion. I think parents can help that come out in your everyday life. Might not totally be from the parents but I think in my situation it sure was.

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

Two strong willed parents and four older siblings. Do or die.

NUNYA's avatar

@Ghost_in_the_system “8” kids in my family, I know what you mean! HAHAHA!

Berserker's avatar

I had to learn to rely on myself when I was pretty young, most especially emotionally. I mostly grew up in group homes, and well it’s not like being with your parents, and while I don’t claim to have anymore common sense or a more acute sense of awareness than anyone else, I can say for sure that many people don’t really dwarf me in that department.

Being shy and introverted has led me to comprehend tones of voice and body language since such means of communication was almost primary for me, especially before learning to speak English in an English place. Verbal communication can teach quite a lot about how words mean so much nothing, especially when so much of it is manipulation, pretenses or self projection.

These two issues coupled together taught me that, basically, the world isn’t as sunny as most people who couldn’t bother with you would like you to believe, so like, you gotta tackle shit on your own, otherwise you’ll just be everyone’s bitch.

And I’m not Emo.

Merriment's avatar

No I haven’t always had it.

I got it by surviving and learning from all the crap I have seen in my life.

The final “building” material was becoming a mother.

DominicX's avatar

I don’t know where self-confidence comes from. All I know is that I’ve always been very self-confident and have had high self-esteem. Not sure where it came from. But it didn’t always show itself that strongly. When I was younger, I used to be more sensitive, but that began to change as I got older. There wasn’t any specific thing that caused that, though. No one in my immediate family seems to have self-esteem or confidence issues, so I’d say that is significant. I had an easy life. So I can’t blame it on that.

My uncle on the other hand seemed to have very low self-esteem from the time he was a child. This was in contrast to his siblings and his parents. The current theory is it’s just the way he always was. There didn’t seem to be any real cause of it.

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

@NUNYA Explains why your so fiesty.

chelseababyy's avatar

I think self-confidence comes from life. Yeah, I know that’s a generalized statement, however this is why I believe it is.
In life you’re thrown many things, abuse, sickness, bullies, whatever. It’s how you handle those things, how you come out of bad and good experiences. If you can say that you’ve been through hell and back and are a better person because of it, your self-confidence may become a bit better. Sure after things like that, it’s hard to stay positive. The most important thing is that you are alive today and can take some kind of knowledge out of those experiences. If you can be strong and realize that you are a good person, that you’ve been the best person you can be, and that you’ve made your life better in different ways, then that right there is some serious confidence.

More than anything it’s believing in yourself and not giving up when you feel as though there’s nothing left.

Buttonstc's avatar

“Fake it till you make it. ”

“Never let them see you sweat”

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

@chelseababyy What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger .

NUNYA's avatar

@Ghost_in_the_system Why do you say that? “Fiesty”?

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

As a kid I was picked on a lot. It got to the point that I went home crying almost daily and my mom took me out of school for days at a time. As I got older I started to realize that if you let people see that the bullying deeply effects you, they’ll continue it. If you keep your head held high and a smile on your face, they envy you.

Jude's avatar

It’s taken me years. I’ve learned what’s important and what’s not important over those years. I’ve learned to believe in myself.

Freedom_Issues's avatar

I fake it till I make it! In the past, I have used drugs or alcohol to help me out…not a good idea!

wundayatta's avatar

I’m a little paradoxical with respect to confidence. There’s the inside Daloon, who is quite confident about who he is and what he thinks. Then there’s the outside Daloon who doesn’t believe that anyone else would agree with him or believe him or find him to be interesting, although they might find him overbearing, and so they all must secretly be whispering about him after he goes past.

The inside confidence comes from having studied a lot and thought a lot about many different things. I’ve build an internal model of how the world and people work, and it seems to do very well. I believe in my model. I don’t believe anyone else would understand it. They would think it is too weird, and just plain immoral or wrong in many places.

Even though I’m very confident about my model, I am completely unconfident that anyone else would think it is useful. Hell, I don’t even know if anyone will have any idea what I mean.

Funny, isn’t it? Knowing who I am, and wanting to be who I am, and being just as certain that no one would approve—even as I know that’s not true. I wish I could do what a lot of people say they do. I want to be able to say, “what the fuck do I care what you think!” In one way, I do say that. I’m not changing. Not for anyone. I’m not going to do something that doesn’t work, even if it is socially acceptable, or conventional wisdom.

warka1's avatar

repeat this phrase over and over in your head until you get “the closer i get to the ring the more cofidence i get” know here the ring could be anything you value

jaw and live well.

mattbrowne's avatar

Commit yourself to lifelong learning.

Ghost_in_the_system's avatar

@NUNYA Not a bad thing. Have come across AB thoughts in print. Sreen name says a mouthful.

NUNYA's avatar

HAHAHAHA! Thanks Ghost!!!

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