Motivation. Or just that little extra bit of willpower. Get up in the morning, start that project, maybe even make something worthwhile of myself to justify my existence.
I wish I could feel ok about myself. I wish I was dead certain that I was doing enough, and that my failings…. ah fuck. I don’t know what to say about them. I wish I didn’t hurt so many people so badly. People think I’m good, but they don’t know what I’ve done. I wish I could feel about my wife the way I used to.
Moving someplace new. I’d love to go somewhere in the PNW. Seattle is looking better and better each day. I also wouldn’t mind moving to Boston or NYC.