I think we’re totally jumping to conclusions in decrying the boyfriend for subjugating the OP into heteronormative gender binaries.
We can debate tact, possibly, but I find no real context in the question about the reasons behind asking for the removal of the hair.
@tinyfaery While I often agree with you, I think your comparisons are unfair. Hair removal isn’t the same as dick size. At all.
I’ve had girlfriends ask me to cut my hair, to shave my beard, to shave my moustache, to shave a goatee, to trim…areas. Etc. Sometime’s I’ve complied, sometimes I haven’t. But vilifying the boyfriend without more context is unfair. Yes, there is a bit more weight because this is a woman (I assume) and therefore is more gender-charged, but saying you don’t like something about someone, tactfully, is a far cry from reinforcing cultural oppression.
@simonedb If you feel compromised by shaving your upper lip hair, then don’t do it. Be truthful to yourself, first and foremost. But I wouldn’t jump to think that he doesn’t truly love you—unless there’s something else you’re leaving out.