This one. My best friend, a certain kind of soul mate, a light in my darkness, died on the 17th. I haven’t known what to do with myself since it happened. There’s only one person in the world who knows if Tigh killed himself intentionally, and he isn’t ready to talk about it.
Not knowing how or why it happened has put me in some kind of hell that I do not know how to escape. I miss him so fucking much. Words can’t even begin to describe what I’ve been feeling since this happened. I came to Fluther, because I don’t want to do anything, or be anywhere, but all of my posts since this have happened have been about Tigh. I haven’t been eating or sleeping, and I just don’t know what to do. Nothing is okay. Christmas isn’t good anymore. Every year when I hear Christmas music, see lights, decorations… It will only remind me of what happened.
I’m going insane, and I just want it to be over. I’m not looking forward to school starting again, or the new year… Because Tigh won’t be here. I can’t talk to him for hours, go on drives with him, or hug him anymore. Right now, I just want to say fuck everything.