When I was a kid, my brother severely abused me and my sister in many different ways. I won’t go into detail, but I have always been greatly affected by it, even in my adulthood – I have severe social anxiety, used to abuse drugs and alcohol, and have trust issues/flinch when people make any quick move toward me.

In my late teens I saw many psychiatrists, but it wasn’t until I moved out of state for a few years that I really “got over it”... in other words, I didn’t let it run my life anymore (I no longer had constant nightmares, hallucinations, etc), but of course it still affected me somewhat.

Now that I have a young baby and therefore am forced to show up at family gatherings again, I’m starting to be around him for the first time since I was a kid. At first I didn’t think it would bother me, but on Christmas he screamed at me and my girlfriend, which shook me to the core and made my girlfriend VERY uncomfortable.

Since then, nightmares about the abuse have started coming back, my depression has worsened, and I’ve felt nervous almost 24 hours a day.

Not showing up at family gatherings has to be a LAST RESORT, because my family is very crucial right now as far as helping us out financially while I’m not getting paid, babysitting when I need it, etc… but how else am I supposed to deal with this in a civilized way?