Nope, they are an absolute fact. I have known people who could always be counted on to give absolutely memorable blowjobs, and others who were just meh. I think it might have something to do with how much the person enjoys giving them.

Poor Zen. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

one day, @Zen_Again hopes to be bare naked with a lady…

hah! Chuckie!

LOLOL

Blowjobs can be anywhere from “Ouch!!!” to “OMFG!!!” They are not “all the same.” Sorry man!

You’ve got to knock their teeth out for the best ones.

I can tell the difference between whether Im giving a great one or a crappy one. Depends mainly on my level of interest…

If you have to ask, you haven’t had an amazing blowjob. ;)

@Zen_Again ask your friends if their boyfriends do it the same way yours does.

They exist – I have witnessed the reaction and it is much different than the everyday. My female guess is that the mind-blowing ones occur when the giver is totally and completely into it and knows what s/he is doing.

No-one gives better head than @eponymoushipster – trust me.

@pjanaway: what the fuck?

@nikipedia Why so serious?! So what if @pjanaway is being a little, shall we say, unsubtle, stupid and arse-like, mysoginistic, chauvenistic, brutally violent towards women and a disgrace to men everywhere, especially those slightly enlightened and have a normal or plus size penis, unlike him, apparently. Lighten up!

@Zen_Again how would you know?

Now I am @Zen_Again – how soon we forget… a little date in mexico – a woman known simply as “zen” – who turned out to not be the “woman” you thought he was – but didn’t care….

Look up… tee hee.. @augustlan said blowjob @augustlan said blowjob. :-)

That is like asking if sex is all the same! It’s not! I had the great advantage of having all male friends when I was just starting out and they gave me great tips and taught me the perfect technique. They were excellent teachers and all of my partners would probably like to thank them. Oh and I just read this and it sounded bad. They just told me I didn’t practice on them. Just a FYI

no way. there are some people out there that are just awful at giving them.

I believe that depends to a large degree on whether you’re getting it or giving it.

ahh haha we were just having this conversation last night… i’m a girl, so i can’t really say. but i have been told that some bjs are better than others

They’re out there. They DO exist. I just know it. I have made a vow, nay, my own personal crusade, to seek them out… to prove that they weren’t just a figment of my imagination. This I do for my fellow man. <grin>

I have a feeling that the quest needs to be one undertaken by the giver. All we can do is sit back and keep score.

Some people pay more attention than others. Some people have learned…

Ah hell. Its an art. Some are fingerpainters, some are freakin’ Rembrandt. So… yeah.

I’d be more than happy to do the research for this question.
I even nominate me to be the test subject.

Practice and care are what matters. It’s not at all about sucking. It’s about depth, knowing what to do with your tongue, knowing what patterns to do to keep him interested, knowing all the most sensitive spots, giving him a really good show, using you hands at the same time, not being afraid of his balls, being sure to swirl your head to get rotational friction from you tongue across his frenulum and head, knowing how to deepthroat, letting him wrap his hands in your hair and guide you when he wants it hard, letting him fuck your mouth/throat as hard as he wants especially when he’s close to the edge, and so on…

Oh, and for goodness sake, let him come wherever he wants. If you don’t want him to come down your throat, give him a target, be it your tongue or your cleavage or whatever. Take pride in it. Love how much you turn him on. Enjoy the experience and let your enjoyment show on your face and in your actions.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Greatest possible answer to this question.

Class is on Wednesdays and Fridays at 11. If you don’t have a volunteer to practice on, one will be provided for you. Sign up quickly, though, because class fills up fast.

Ill add to @delirium ‘s post…..And dont be afraid to let your finger slip down and caress the backside a little….—if your guy likes that sorta thing of course

I suggest asking first, though. You don’t want to do that if he is uncomfortable at all with it. Either that or start to do it, ask if he minds, and if he makes a happy sound you keep going.

When I was a mere slip of a 25-year-old, a gentleman who wanted some attention from me (which he did not get) told me this: “Old ladies are the best. They gum you to death.” Perhaps that is what @pjanaway was referring to somewhat indelicately.

@delirium- Damn, girl.

It depends how much she wants it and practice makes perfect. If men could reach I’m sure they’d blow themselves, actually some men can reach, lol.

Come on guys let’s not lower the standards of Fluther with questions like these.

@HTDC—but this is just a technical question on the art of pleasure, look away if it repulses. ;)

@HTDC You consistently object to each question with sexual content. We all get the idea, we are all familiar with your views. Now that you have let us know what low-lives we are, I heartily suggest you stay out of threads marked NSFW. That way your delicacy will no longer be threatened, and you can stop harshing everyone’s mellow.

Hear hear ^^^.

@delirium I’m bookmarking your answer for future reference.

what about @bigboss ? you’re not bookmarking that?

Nah, no need to. Having to spit every five seconds.. Nasty.. Where would the spit go?

I dunno, I just thought it was an especially appetizing post.

I knew a girl in College who was considering having her teeth removed, and getting dentures. She was very unhappy with how her teeth looked (and I thought they looked fine), and she wanted to be able to give better bj’s.
She didn’t, thankfully.

@bigboss If you call your women bitches, I bet you don’t get laid much, do you?

My 6 front teeth are on a top partial that I can take out. Let’s just say, my husband is VERY happy when my teeth are on the night stand. heh, heh

they are not all the same! For sure!

If it is not memorable it’s your own damn fault! Tell her what to do and make it memorable…simple.

@Cruiser This is true. You’re a good team player, aren’t you?

@jbfletcherfan There is no “I” in team especially with oral!

@ marie… how do you tell just based on reaction or your level or participation?
@sjmc1989 ... taught well huh? Now you have us all curious
@delirium ... how are you going to arrange this class?

You can read a book on the subject, but it is an art….some can, some can’t!

@Cruiser For sure. It’s definitely a give & take thing. :D

Of course not, Zen! That’s crazy – I take pride in my blowjobs not being just blowjobs.

A blow job’s effectivness depends entirely on the“giver”. Last I heard an erection is required in order to enjoy the action. This for me would be highly unlikely if said “giver” was, well lets just say challenged as far as looks go. If you aint got a perdy mouth I won’t rise to the occassion.

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” ............ Barbara Bush

@jbfletcherfan lmao…really, Barbara said that…that is wild!

@ucme And, let’s pray to Heysus that you look nothing like a cross between Bill Gates/O-Ren Ishii. Who would want to go down on that? Gag reflex without deep-throating kicking in.

@jmah Hell no that would be an horrific vista.

@Zen_Again: I feel like an idiot but I really don’t get it. What he said was supposed to be a joke, right? But why do people think it’s funny?

@nikipedia cute kitty.

@BoBo1946 Yep. She sure did. She’s quite a gal.

I wonder why it’s called a blowjob and not a suckjob or slobberjob?

@jbfletcherfan Lmao…she is that!

It helps if she can suck a golf ball through a hose pipe, it really does.

@Cruiser There is no I in team, but if you look closely, you’ll see there’s a ME.

;-)

They are not all the same. Whoever says that has not had enough blow-jobs to make the comparison accurately.

@delirium, do you know the difference between a blowjob and a Big Mac?

@CyanoticWasp If not they could be banned from Mickey-D’s

No? Want to meet for lunch tomorrow? Zing

@shilolo nice

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Obviously, I didn’t make that one up…

Somehow I feel like there is a hidden agenda to this question.

@delirium Is there a waiting list for volunteer subjects for your classes? If so, I want to be on it. And just curious, but does the teacher ever do the demonstrations?

Men are pigs. ;-)

@jmah ummm…that could be said about either sex!

all men but @HTDC

@scotsbloke I often wondered that, too. But blowing on it DOES give a great sensation. ;-) heh, heh

@jmah Nah….men are great! :D

@Zen_Again Hence my suggestion for giving specific instructions! I have found if you want truly great results with anything you want done you need to do it yourself, but with oral, I admit I really do need help.

@delirium : that made me want to give a blow job… shit girl!!

again, it is an art, not a science! you can read all the books, articles, etc until you are “blue in the face,” but it cannot be taught…don’t want to devulge my sexual life, but this is the 110 percent truth!

@Samantha_Rae…. is that a big stretch for you?

@BoBo1946 Hmmmm….......

@jbfletcherfan loll..truth!

@sleepdoc : nope, like we’ve been saying… the more you get into it, the better it is. he’ll be happy tonight for sure. :)

@Samantha_Rae… jealous .. I am that is

loll..is it not amazing how many people love to talk about a good blowjob!

@BoBO1946… well for some talk is all there is

@sleepdoc loll..very true!

@sleepdoc at this stage in life, a goodnites sleep would be better!

I would hate to count the hours I’ve spent talking about it. Or talking it. VR is so unsatisfying.

Frankly, and this may have to do with increasing age, I don’t know, I prefer that her face not be so far away. I’d rather skip the blowjob, and kiss while making love.

@BoBO1946… well I do get that often

@sleepdoc LOLL..hey, if you’re like me, cool!

@pdworkin : i don’t know if that has to do with age because I agree!! kissing is so much more meaningful than oral sex…

Well, I guess when I was younger I didn’t care as much, but in the last 20 years that’s how I’ve felt, although I love to give head.

@pdworkin Good thoughts there. I like your style. :-)

Its been 7 years but I remember enough to know that there are bad ones!!!

Personally, I think it comes down to connection. My SO is the first and only that I have ever done this for, and the only one I would have ever been willing to.

He tells me that I’m amazing at it and he has no idea how I know exactly how, where and when to touch different places. Watching his body, his movements, the noises he makes.. Being “tuned in” to him makes all the difference in the world.

That and being spontaneous, I’m his Domme so it’s easy for me to get him in a very vunerable position. With no warning, I can simply pounce had have him wimpering before the first touch.

I am all flustered now :D What a great question. I think I’ll have to give my pet a treat this weekend ;) Haha

There’s a BIG difference between a mediocre blowjob and an awesome blowjob.

An awesome blowjob is where the woman lays on her back with her head hanging off the edge of the bed, and you step up to her and f**k her mouth like a wild stallion.

It’s even better if she’s tied down spreas eagle, with a posture collar to prevent her from rolling her head aside, and a spider gag holdhing her mouth open wide, so she can’t pull away. All she can do is lie there gagging and choking while you pummel her face.

Okay, there’s not too many women who will agree to this, but this is a truly awesome blowjob!

@HungryGuy : Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!

I had a roommate in college (we all hated her) and she didn’t know what a blow job was. She thought it literally had to do with blowing. She acquired the name of “head” that day. ;D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahaha. Oh god. That’s the most excellent thing EVER.

y was my comment removed? THIS IS A QUESTION ABOUT SUCKING DICK! what could i possibly have said wrong about dick sucking?......this place makes no sense.

@bigboss Could it be that you were unnecessarily insulting?

@bigboss ^^That, and just a helpful hint… txtspk isn’t allowed, here.

@sleepdoc I’m not shy, I just ask…same partner, longitudinal study style. Also, I use my senses to determine whats going well and what isnt.

nothing better than a VOLUNTARY blowjob. sure it feels good still, but it REALLY sucks to ask for it, or after alotta complaining she says “ugh fine.”

better yet, nothing better than a voluntary SPUR OF THE MOMENT unzip-me-pull-it-out-and-stick-it-in-your-mouth blowjob.

Interesting question. I guess there are good BJ’s, and great BJ’s.. and then there are crappy BJ’s. But I don’t know how much better great ones are than good ones. And I’ve heard even crappy BJ’s are still good.

@violet the worst bj (one that saws at you with pointy teeth) can be amazing if one is deseperate enough.

@Violet My point exactly – BJ’s are like pizza: Cold, day-old, with or without extra cheese – it’s all good.

@hungryguy: To each his own. Where do I sign up for lessons?

Oy – you have to travel one day and you miss so much!

Volunteers are accepted. I, of course, never bring my own volunteer to class…....

hey @delirium!

<—volunteering!

@Zen_Again – Well, females generally “sign up” after reading my kinky stories. Unfortunately, being as I’m straight, those who posess one or more “Y” chromosomes are disqualified. Sorry; the world’s not a fair place…

@bigboss oh man, I think unwanted painful biting, is worse than a bad BJ.
@Zen_Again that is a great way to think of it!

@Violet Unwanted painful biting during a blowjob is THE WORST!

@bigboss You just reminded me of how much I love giving road head. I love not saying anything to a guy and giving him a little thank you for driving!

@sjmc1989 Not for innocent eyes, I warned ya!

@avvooooooo Wow! I’m speechless. That made me hurt as I was reading it and I don’t even have a penis! Ouch!!

I’m better at it with flavoured lubes! Strawberry cheesecake is the ultimate flavour :) Mmmmm, penisy cheesecake…

I’ve never actually used a flavored lube before. Or anything like it. I’ve… never used lube for it. I have always ultimately enjoyed the taste so much that I wouldn’t want to use lube. I’ve used honey purely for the sake of using it. It’s fun, but not as much fun as not using anything like that.

@delirium – Your killing me here.

I was handling jalapenos the other night as I was making tacos for dinner. I washed my hands thoroughly and welcomed my husband with a blowjob when he came home from a hard day of working in sub zero temps. I guess I didn’t wash my hands as well as I thought I did. It was a very interesting, pleasurable experience for both of us.

Isn’t a blowjob a blowjob?......um, no!

loll..do you get the feeling that a few here are “yanking our chain!”

@BoBo1946 that took a lot of courage, plus a couple of beers for me to tell that story. ;)

@jonsblond was talking about another post..not your’s…delirium is driving the men crazy here with her very descriptive comments.

no, thought your story was a good one! Anything a husband and wife do together to make life better….go for it…

I’m with @BoBo1946 – some of them are striaght out of Penthouse forum. ;-)

Hahahahahahaha. I honestly don’t care if you believe me or not.

I agree it must be an art because I love to give them but my partner says I’m not very good at it even though he never says no. What a trooper he is!

@BoBo1946 Unlike some people, @delirium knows exactly what she’s talking about.

@avvooooooo well, thank you again for telling me off. Seems to be a habit for you!

@BoBo1946 – I thought “Yanking our chain” was a euphamism and pun for the activity being described by delirium. I thought it was funny.

@Naked_Homer loll..well, it was taken differently by some here!

@BoBo1946 Seriously, grow up. I was participating in this thread before you were, I was already here, and have specific knowledge that is contrary to your statement and lack thereof.

[mod says] Flame off, folks.

@ElleBee…. what that an enjoyment of thoughtful m
@Marie123….so you are just insightful
@jonsblond… maybe you should try to market that

@sleepdoc lol…

@jonsblond… I am just saying the there are companies marketing all kinds of things, maybe that is worth some $$$

As of Friday at 9:31am I will be in hot pursuit of any kind, not having had one in 7 years. My court appointment and divorce is final then. Look out world!!!!

@Naked_Homer Congratulations!

@Naked_Homer If I were single, I’d take care of that for you. Just sayin’.

@sjmc1989 – Thanks much!

@augustlan – if there were any way to give lurve in scientific notation you’d have it just for typing that!!!

Yeah, well, a woman who actually hungers for it like @delirium must be just about every guy’s fantasy. @delirium Do you have a blog?

Wow…gosh, still giving “blow jobs” here! loll

delirium is making the men here sucCUMb to deliriousness.

@octopussy lmao…...

O M G @delirium… You and the wife could swap notes, techniques and if desired- share me..( shudders as I calm down at the thought of it…)...

@wundayatta Technically I do, but I mostly just blather to myself about sustainability and progress on my tattoo. I try to present myself to be quite ladylike… until I get behind closed doors.

I don’t have anything to add. I just needed to reread @deliriums answers.

Q: Isn’t a blowjob a blowjob?
A: They all don’t suck.

@delirium…. does this site qualify as being behind a closed door?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hm7pp_JFOs

I would love to hear details about @delirium behind closed doors, we have to remember it seems to always be the kind of innocent looking ones that are wildest behind closed doors…

if you need a good laugh, watch the video!

@delirium Wow! Reading that quip was worth the price of admission.

I am actually thinking about writing something up for the blog with a warning that if the person is at all related to me they probably don’t want to read on. I’m not sure, though. I’m still pondering it.

But I have a lot more tips that I think girls/guys should have.

@delirium Why not make a separate blog, just for stuff like that? I’d be willing to contribute… under an assumed name, of course! ;)

@delirium Would that be a “how to” blog or a story blog?

Oh @delirium ; that sounds like a good idea! I would be willing to contribute too, could be a blast and all innocent fun of course!

And how racy would it be? and toy’s used too?

Hmmmm, probably a mix of stories and how tos.

Maybe I should just figure out a domain, register it, and set up a wordpress blog.

Oh YEH… hook me up when it’s working!

@AstroChuck Too funny.
@Cruiser Being assertive with her brings lasting memories!
@ucme Better yet——if she can suck all kinds of balls, not just golf balls. ;)