that the journey is more important than the destination

You have no control over (can’t change) other people’s behavior. The only thing that you have control over is how you react to it.

That blood family isn’t always the safest most helpful place to look for your greatest support and to let them off the hook to change or provide it saves sooooo much frustration and energy. Once I stopped being so stubborn to get other people to act the way I felt they should, be that responsibly or loving or trying to justify why I was valuable or worthy of respect and love, my life opened up and hurtled forward for the positive. People can tell you over and over to stop beating a dead horse but until you can really do it, you don’t know how nice it is to live for yourself and feel real love, care, friendship and trust.

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Don’t mud-wrestle with a pig. Don’t get into a pissing contest with a skunk. Don’t argue with generals.

I’m a likeable person.

That some people actually DO like me!

I learned that you don’t fall for and then try to “help or fix” someone to be the perfect mate for you, but love someone who, despite all your prior assumptions and any of their faults, is clearly perfect for you and you would never want to fix or improve anything about them.

What really matters in life.

Being on the interent has completely changed my life. I changed partners, states, occupations, and just about everything in my life thanks to being introduced to the internet in 2001. Hell, it even brought me here!!

@scamp – Right. The internet has turned the whole world into a small town.

@HungryGuy absolutely! We are all one big family now, happy or otherwise! ha ha!! In my head I can hear all those celebs signing ‘We are the world.”

@scamp – Yeah. Unfortunately, websites like this come and go. And when they go, friends lose touch with each other :-(

@hungryhungryhortence: my first exposure to online social sites was wis.dm (defunct) and from there, many of us exchanged e-mails, linked each other to other sites and even met up in person. No need for anyone to get lost if they really want to keep the acquaintance and friendships.

When you have to give a speech or teach a course, you know more than the people you are addressing. If one wise ass asks a difficult question just to shake you, it is o.k. to say “I don’t know but will look it up and get back to you”. Nobody expects you to know everything, just more than the crowd. They will also respect you for you lack of b.s. especially when it makes the class shorter.

That a lot of things are not my business.

In no particular order:
Fluther.com has indeed changed my life for the better.
Blood ties are no reason to put up with bad behavior.
Sometimes, life doesn’t go the way you planned and that’s ok.
You really can overcome a horrible childhood.

@HungryGuy true, but I don’t rely on websites for my happiness. If I did, I would be very disappointed because not many people are what they pretend to be online. Sites like this one are mostly a passtime for me. I learn something new, get to joke around a little, and sometimes someone stands out, so I allow them closer to me.

I have met people from certain places I frequent, and the ones who I hold dear are never out of touch because we have exchanged numbers, etc. I met my SO online, but not on one of those ‘dating sites.” We just kind of bumped into each other online.

What I was saying is that due to things that have happened to and for me on the internet, much of my life has changed for the better. After meeting my SO, I left a go nowhere marriage, moved to a new state, and started all over again. Since that time, every aspect of my life has gotten better.

When i was about 24 years old, i contracted meningitis. along with this disease, i also had yellow jaundice. my eyes turned yellow and i had a whole wing of a hospital all to myself for three days. at first, the doctors thought i was contagious. after my blood tests came back, i received the good news. i had baterial meningitis, not the deadly kind. i cannot tell you the joy it brought back to my family. i cannot tell you the joy this news brought back to yours truly. i fully recovered, but i cannot donate blood today. the Red Cross will not accept it and i understand why. this news definetely made me a better person, just realizing how close to death i may have been. it was determined that i contracted this disease probably on one of the police calls i answered.

@john65pennington – I guess you come into contact with some strange people on police calls. Don’t you wear gloves and other protective gear when dealing with druggies and people like that?

Yes. but, to enter some of these peoples houses, that have every disease known to mankind, is unpredictable. sometimes, its too late, after the truth is known. and, sometimes you do not have time to put the safety equipment in place in a dire emergency. its just part of the job.

That girls are different from boys.

That I am an ISTP in the Myers-Briggs personality types. It explains everything I couldn’t explain before! It was quite a revelation for me.

ouuuuf lots of things!!! i feel i have grown a lot!!! some of them being, screaming and yelling gets you nowhere with loved ones, patience IS a virtue, be kind to everyone, you never know what they are going through, spend time with your parents you’ll miss them when they are gone, that it is true, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger…..

“Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff.”
Richard Carlson

In high school, guys never paid much attention to me, so I always thought I was ugly and undesirable. In college, I realized that was not quite true. I am a lot less insecure now.

I learned not to expect as much from others as I do from myself.

Quite the opposite has happened to me, multiple times. When I finally thought everything was clear and I knew exactly what i was going to be and who my friends were, I got it all taken from me and i felt like nothing worse could possibly happen…

Foreplay is very important! :-/

That organized religion is just another business (15 years of Catholic schools) and that one must be open to oneself and the natural world to further self-development.

Yes Polly I agree .
All religions seem to be that way.
People with common sense seem to realize that you are right.

You can’t make sense out of nonsense.

We expend an inordinate amount of energy trying to understand, rationalize and/or justify events that occur that defy logic or common sense. Developing the ability to recognize nonsense for what it is has relieved me from useless concerns and enabled me to direct attention toward that which is truly purposeful…or at least entertaining.

My girlfriend’s pregnancy.

@RAWRxRandy tell me about it….

The old adage, Don’t believe everything you read, has taken on a whole new meaning in the “information age”.

the new bus timetable

That today is the first day of the rest of your life.

I learned that no ones life is perfect, we all face challenges at one time or another. I am not the only unstable person on earth at times, I learned too that I am a very strong person. I also learned that we are in fact not all the same.

What I think about expands. So choose carefully my thoughts and words. What I think, matters.
this explains why in the past when I used to dwell and/or worry about something I didn’t like, that made it bigger and more.
Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks, and Ramtha teaches this.

When I was 12 (during the cold war) there was much talk of nuclear war. I was really afraid I wasnt going to grow up.the idea of death and dieing really terrafide me. One night I had a awsome dream ( I wont go into detail)that washed away all the fear I felt. I now know that death is not a scary thing, its only going back from were you came.

I know that if you follow direction from someone you will never go anywhere new! cause they have all ready been there. <hum>

Beauty is inside and it comes out because if that.

A few different things have stayed with my over the last couple of years. To thine own self be true as @austinlad so kindly reminded me of today :)

What the in hell did I write? Ignore that last three words. :)

@py_sue I think you meant ‘because of that’?

@le_inferno maybe :)

Be Yourself. Life is too short to be anyone else. (:

My big breakthrough was to stop trying to define my religious beliefs. I have to finally admit that I am an agnostic – I believe there is something out there but I really can’t say what. But what really give me peace is that I also believe that no matter how much a person preaches and insists that they have all the answers, they don’t know what is out there either.

@Skaggfacemutt
I agree with you.
They can judge us but reality says we are accurate.

That no matter how old you are, you don’t know it all and even if you do, the look at it from another angle.

Also having a little patience and a big smile for EVERYONE helps!

GOD

“You can’t always trust the people you want to.”

10 things I hate about you.

What goes around really does come around.
You can’t change people.
Just because they are related to you doesn’t mean you have to associate with them. It’s okay to NOT like them.
It’s always better to listen than to speak.
Old doesn’t mean WISE.

Some things that ironically have made my life better?

emotional abuse (recipient)
divorce
single parenting
pain
loss
deployment to multiple war zones
diagnosis of a progressive terminal disease

Various people I’ve known or whose lives I’ve followed from a distance, places I’ve lived and visited, organizations I’ve belonged to, courses I’ve taken, jobs I’ve had—all these and so many other things have improved my existence and in some cases absolutely changed the course of my life. Looking back—and it’s quite a distance—I can see how fortunate I’ve been to be me.

I know not to eat the yellow snow.

That even when you are wrong you are right…
Because knowing you are wrong makes you right!