Social Question

bean's avatar

What do you look for in a partner?

Asked by bean (1327points) January 17th, 2010
42 responses
“Great Question” (7points)

what sought of person would you want as a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

or what do you desire in a partner?

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Sophief's avatar

I want what I have. Somebody that makes me laugh. Somebody that looks after me. Somebody that knows what I am thinking. Plus, he is tall, dark, very handsome and older than me. I have never liked men the same age. We are so connected and I really love him.

Cruiser's avatar

Hot legs and a sense of humor.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

There’s a certain “magic” that has to happen, the attraction often has nothing to do with appearance. Common interests can be helpful. Physical attraction is a short-term thing. A real relationship is based on genuine concern for each others welfare.

partyparty's avatar

I think the initial attraction has to be a physical one.
But when you get to know the person they should be your best friend, you should feel something missing when they aren’t around you, you get butterflies in your stomach when they are around you, and most of all they should be your ‘soul mate’.

Pcrecords's avatar

A pulse.
A sense of humour.
(quoting homer Simpson) a butt that won’t quit! ;-)

Your_Majesty's avatar

As long as he/she wants to accept me the way I am. He/she should also loyal,responsible,evil to other people except me,and a bit naughty.

Scooby's avatar

A sense of humour is a must, someone with a lot of patients & a generous nature, honesty is a must too, physically between 5’ & 5’5” tall say around 34–23-33 I prefer brunets too but would be happy with a great personality & nice dark eyes……

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

A sense of humor and a big butt.

fundevogel's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land – Don’t underestimate the value of physical attraction. I spent hours having really good conversations with a guy a few weeks ago, but couldn’t have been less interested in kissing him when he made a move. And I was drunk at the time.

Trillian's avatar

I now believe that physical attraction should come second. I learned that in a good way. A guy to whom I became attracted was someone whom I first didn’t like the look of at all. Then he opened his mouth in a meeting and I was impressed with how intelligent he was. The more I saw of him, the more I grew to respect him. Then I began to admire him, and one day I realized that I found him extremely attractive. Nothing came of it, he never knew how I felt. I was in the military and he was on his way to another duty station. I didn’t feel that it would be right to try to maintain a long distance thing in the short time I would have had, blah blah blah..
But I know that it happened once, it can happen again. I still feel a very strong regard for this man, and I believe that respect and admiration are more permanent than physical attraction. Or, physical attraction lasts until we start to hate each other for not being what we want. relationships based on physical attraction alone have a history of not lasting.

john65pennington's avatar

I have been married to the same nice lady for many years. out of those years, respect for each other has become the main attraction as well as love for each other. in the beginning, the physical attraction, to my wife, was like a magnet. it just happened. a relationship is much more than just sex. its two hearts that become one. we have so many things in common and thats always been a plus. i use to hate women with red hair, but guess the color of my wifes hair? yep, its red. compatibility is a must. we love the same foods(i have no choice, since shes the cook) and the same music. sometimes, i can look at her and i see myself as a female.we make each other laugh and thats a good thing. we are that compatible.

scotsbloke's avatar

Someone with a sense of humour who I can talk to about ANYTHING!
Someone who’ll let me go in a bad mood and still love me afterward.
Someone who doesnt want more than I can give.
and finally, someone who is honest, and being sexy as hell (Whether it’s phisically or emotionally) is a plus too!
Because that’s what you’ll get from me! (apart from the sexy bit unfortunately – boo hoo)

wonderingwhy's avatar

For me it’s about honesty, mutual interests, understanding, a compatible sense of humor, self assured, energetic, and a sense of wonder, exploration, and enjoying the moment. That combo can get me almost every time.

As to physical attractiveness, that’s a big plus too, but in a partner it’s clearly second. I’ve found all too often that some women who I found average at first became dramatically more attractive as our relationship deepened and some who were heart stoppingly beautiful at first lost that aura, for lack of a better word, and we simply drifted apart (not a particularly good feeling btw).

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Intelligence & confidence (not arrogance)
Charm & compassion
Patience & resilience
Ability to apply talent or skill
Fidelity & respect
Playful & attentive
Protective & mindful (not jealous)
Follow through
Person who works in order to take their $ and live, not trip on what they do to get the $
Makes me believe they think I’m the best thing going

*with those qualities, I’ve been attracted to a wide range of physical types- a person can become more and more physically attractive in my eyes as I grow to admire and discover other positives about them.

filmfann's avatar

First things: Someone who feels the same way I do about drinking (moderate), drugs (not at all), and marriage and kids (not afraid of it).
People often fall in love with someone they have disagreements about in these things. And it never works out.
Everything else, i think, you can compromise. These things you can’t.

Holden_Caulfield's avatar

In all the years and all the relationships, the first key signs I look for AFTER the initial attraction are whether or not that peson has had a good relationship with their Mother or Father. Those, to me, have been key indicatoirs of success or difficulties downstream. A person is a product of their environment to a significant extent, and most issues can be tied back to a childhood trauma or memory. The way parents interact with their children AND the way they interact between each other (if they were together during the formative years of the child) is a pretty good indicator of the product of the child in relationships down the road. Past experience is a good indicator of the future behavior typically. Not always the case, but more often the rule rathr than the exception. Look at the parental relationship with each other and with them. It will help you navigate, as well as observe Red Flags, and make decisions accordingly.

Anon_Jihad's avatar

A sense of humor
A similar passion for harmless mischief
Eyes that don’t wander
A pair of lips that smile more often than not

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@Anon_Jihad: “a pair of lips that smile more often than not”
That’s a biggie.

HungryGuy's avatar

At the risk of being Removed by Fluther moderators, I’d say a lack of a gag reflex (if you don’t want to know, then don’t ask).

ETpro's avatar

I don’t. I’ve got one and am not in any mood to shop for a replacement.

Pcrecords's avatar

@Etpro fantastic!

ChocolateReigns's avatar

The same religious beliefs as me
Someone that will only find me by looking for Christ
A pair of lips that smile more often than not
Eyes that don’t wander

ucme's avatar

Compatibility…..oh nearly forgot & nice tits!

dutchbrossis's avatar

I have what I want. A guy who understands my views on most things. A generally liberal thinker. Most important, he truly loves me and would do anything for me

SamIAm's avatar

sensitive, compassionate, a good listener, willingness to be there, loving, caring… all the important qualities but lately i’ve also learned that you need physical attraction or else the relationship isn’t going to work.

LethalCupcake's avatar

Someone who makes me Laugh is always Numero Uno

ratboy's avatar

Lack of moral standards.

LethalCupcake's avatar

@ratboy I know some women right up your alley :/

dutchbrossis's avatar


Do you mean lack of society’s general moral standards ?

simplicity's avatar

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won’t easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings
I’m carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it
And in a place like this
I’ll get away with it

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I want intelligence and open-mindedness first and foremost – they have to be perceptive and knowledgeable – I want someone who is funny and passionate – I want someone talented, responsible and inspiring – in terms of looks, I don’t care about the gender or sex or body type really but I must be attracted to them madly – in the past those who look androgynous have won out, with me.

Cruiser's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille I have found your perfect match!! You can thank me later!!

phil196662's avatar

Laugh, fun, Outspoken, Spontaneous and Gets ready in less than Fifteen Minutes! lol

liliesndaisies's avatar

Someone who adores my imperfections.

Cruiser's avatar

@liliesndaisies most excellent answer!

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@simplicity: Excellent choice!

Draconess25's avatar

Someone who accepts me for who I am. Both of my girlfriends are polar opposites (hyper & aggressive; sensitive & a narcoleptic), but I love them unconditionally.

I also like a sexy body, long hair, & pretty eyes. Fangs & pale skin are good, too.

megan5555's avatar

I don’t really care about what the guy looks like it is all about the personality with me.
If the guys nice, smart, funny and just a great person all up then I am one happy chappy:)

ChocolateReigns's avatar

@megan5555 yeah that’s a good idea. It’s really annoying, but I’ve noticed that guys that are cute are usually not the best guys. Guys that are nice, smart, funny, and a good person usually aren’t what you’d consider cute. Like the guy I like at the moment…The fact that he likes me puts me on cloud 9. I can’t wait to see him again :)

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I would like to be with someone I understand, respect, love, and appreciate who understands, respects, loves, and appreciates me also.

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