You can always be better…

How do you define “cured” or “fixed”?

Anyone who’s dabbled with self help understands the need to free oneself from attachments. We become dependent upon things and/or people to the extent that our dependency prevents us being self actualized individuals.

Eventually we become aware that the study of self-help itself can become an addiction. We’re become so consumed with finding the perfect method or system to improve ourselves, but neglect the hard work of applying whatever principles we study.

It’s like anything else. The suppliers of the “helpful items” we purchase can’t have you become actually satisfied with your purchase. They will continually present you with a NEW AND IMPROVED whatever-it-is to get you to spend more money. They prey on your weakness while seemingly providing a “cure”. So it stands to reason that people dissatisfied with various aspects of their lives/personalities are prime candidates to purchase more and more self-help material.

Anyone who sticks with “self-help” long enough…and who understands what they’re studying…will eventually realize that they’re spending money on the same old ideas in brand new shiny wrappers. At that point they’ll either abandon “self-help”, find a new attachment/dependency/addiction or get down to putting in the work required to actualize the self improvement they seek.

Sometimes fixing yourself becomes a hobby. Like knitting.

Exactly. I don’t know how many times I’d find myself browsing the self-help sections of book stores despite having books I’d previously purchased still unread.

They weren’t being read because I already knew what was in them!

I was just too lazy to apply the principles.

Who says it works?

I will admit that I have read a few self-help books in the past and have learned some useful bits from them. I guess I never thought the point was to be 100% perfect, it was just to improve. I think a lot of people have things about themselves they’d like to change or work on, so it doesn’t surprise me that the industry thrives. However, while I think that self-help books can help people, I don’t think they’re enough for most people to come to terms and be happy with their lives.

Knowledge and practice are two very distinct things

If it worked and everyone got cured they would all be out of business. Maybe someone has all the answers but is just sitting on it.

@LostInParadise: Brings to mind the statement. “I didn’t know I was poor until someone told me I was.” Left up to the “self-help industry” you’ll never be “cured”. They must always inform you of something about yourself that needs tweaking to keep you on the self-help treadmill.

I’m partial to self-help/new age/philosophy writings. The hardest lesson to learn from these books is that you don’t need the friggin’ book. A lot of them actually say so in the first few sentences! Then they use the next 150 plus pages to tell you why the book you’re reading is not needed. It’s hilarious as well as ridiculous…but it’s the truth.

@LostInParadise: Cured of what? It is an odd word to use about human behavior.

@gailcalled , I didn’t give it much thought, but there is a tendency to make everything into a medical problem. Consider, for example Last Child in the Woods: Curing Our Children From Nature Deficit Disorder Now I am all in favor of the message of the book but “nature deficit disorder” seems a bit silly.

@12_func_multi_tool said it: there’s an enormous difference between knowing what to do to improve your life and practicing with that knowledge. Many of the books and resources in the self-help industry are useful, and it’s true that many repackage the same insights over and over in a range of variations. But I think the efficiency of all that is low: it’s the people who practice who really make progress… and they do eventually reach a point where more books and tapes and advice and teachers are redundant.

@12_func_multi_tool: I’d go out on a limb and say you don’t know anything if you haven’t experienced it first.

True…there are some things you can grasp the significance of intellectually, but a great many things require active participation or a “hand on” approach. (Did I hear someone mention practice?) My 18 year old daughter, with her brand new shiny Learner’s Permit, “knows” all about driving…

…but can’t explain why my car is now parked on the sidewalk.

Thank you to all of you who participated in this thread. I would have commented earlier but I was at a self-help seminar, heh heh.