Age old question. I waited. A long time. I didn’t want to be part of the divorce statistics. I figured the older I was, the more mature I would be, and the better my odds. I wanted to be sure. I saw too many married friends and co-workers not making it. It was not a decision I ever wanted to make based on emotions alone, because like you I tend to think logically about stuff, sometimes to a fault.
So I did everything “by the book.” We dated a couple of years. In our situation we were blending two families, and everyone got along great. I met and liked his family, and became close friends with his Dad. We loved each other so much. We envisioned spending the rest of our lives together, and couldn’t imagine life without one another in it.
For many reasons I cannot go into, the marriage failed. Almost right from the start. And I found myself fighting for its survival harder than I’ve ever fought for anything before. In the end, it was not enough.
What I learned is that you cannot underestimate the importance of things like emotional intimacy, communication, your love languages, and how well you compliment each other’s personalities, ambitions, strengths and weaknesses.
Just like everything else in life, there are no guarantees. The timing of when is the million dollar question. Being certain of your partner’s integrity and perseverance will go a long way in determining the confidence level of such a decision. You don’t want to overthink things of course. In the end all you can do is give it all you’ve got, and love hard.
Afterall, nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy.