If the two of you were together geographically, all of this would be moot issues (or should be).
If each of you has difficulties forsaking these two activities for the sake of the relationship, then maybe it’s time to seriously reconsider changing the parameters of the relationship.
If this is a temporary, short term separation, giving up these activities shouldn’t be THAT MUCH of a problem for either of you.
But if this is a significantly longer separation, re-evaluation may be called for. True love will stand the test of time. So if you both have no strings attached, no conditions, etc. and still end up together at the end of a long separation, then you’ll know it was meant to be.
Right now it seems that each of you is being kind of selfish in not willing to compromise on issues bothersome to the other.
Many people have a mistaken idea that a successful marriage (or love relationship) is where there is equality with each partner willing to give 50%.
It’s actually far more accurate that each partner is willing to give 100%. That’s a successful long term situation.
You guys are still busy with tit-for- tat scorekeeping. That’s not a good sign, especially considering that the two activities in question can be rather easily forsaken without anyone suffering from extreme deprivation.
Neither dancing nor lap dancing are necessary for one to have a happy life. Get some perspective here, would you?