General Question

eternal_serenity's avatar

Is it weird to not like socializing?

Asked by eternal_serenity (494points) February 1st, 2010
29 responses
“Great Question” (4points)

I’m 21 – the greatest time to be a social butterfly, right? Not for me. It’s not that I don’t like people, I have friends and everything, but they like hanging out 3–4 times a week and I’m the opposite. On occasion I like being social, but only like once every 2 or 3 weeks. I have fun when I do socialize, but I am completely content staying at my house. So I guess it’s more or less “indifference”. There’s a lot of times when my friends call me to invite me to go out to eat or go see a movie and I just don’t want to or don’t feel like it and I can’t figure out why. Is this normal?

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rangerr's avatar

If it’s not normal, then I’m weird too.

StellarAirman's avatar

This is called being introverted. Completely normal. Google it. If you take a personality test it’ll probably tell you you’re introverted.

aprilsimnel's avatar

If you feel energized being out with people and that’s what fires you up, then you’re an extrovert. If, once you’ve gone out, you need to be alone for a while to recharge your batteries, then you’re an introvert. Both are normal, though American culture seems to favour the extrovert.

You can take a quick (non-therapeutic) quiz about it here.

laureth's avatar

If it is weird, I’m the same kind of freak. Not antisocial, but more like asocial. Being around people drains my life force, it seems. It makes me edgy, tired, and want to leave.

Blackberry's avatar

Like the other answers, there are (for simplifying the answer) two types of people, although I respect your introvertedness, I feel this is the best time for you to be out and about, because once your youth goes away, it won’t be the same, I’m just saying…lol. It also depends on what you do in your house since you aren’t out that determines if you’re wierd.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’m an introvert, too, and can completely be happy going a week or two without socializing. Some extroverts will say it’s weird, but only because it’s weird to them (they like socializing a lot).

However, I kind of agree with @Blackberry, in that I hope you do try to make the most of the opportunities (social and otherwise) present at your age. In ten years, you’ll look back and miss them. Or, at least, I do.

borderline_blonde's avatar

I’m the same way. It only sucks because a lot of extroverted people (in my experience, anyway) don’t seem to understand. It took my best friend eight years to not take it personal when I sometimes told her I’d prefer to stay in on my own. Some good reading on the topic: The Introvert Advantage

I would disagree with @Blackberry (with respect, of course :). You don’t need to go out and be around people more often if it isn’t fun for you… otherwise, doing it just because you’re worried about acting “normal” is a waste of your time. Life’s short – spend it the way that makes you happiest.

Adagio's avatar

You might be weird but you’re certainly not alone, I’m weird too, I imagine there are quite a number of weirdos here at Fluther.

Blackberry's avatar

@borderline_blonde That is also true. From a person that used to be an introvert, but converted to extrovert, I was just trying to help I guess. I used to hate when people would force me to go out, I was bored and wasn’t having fun when I was out.

Chongalicious's avatar

If there’s a word for it in the dictionary, it can’t be that rare.

eternal_serenity's avatar

I’m not missing out on life and good experiences. I still go out shopping, to concerts, traveling, etc. I just don’t do it as frequently as other people my age. I did party and go out a lot when I was younger. Maybe I just wore it out. I just prefer having nice nights in with my boyfriend then going out every couple of days

Spinel's avatar

You’re asking this question on a social QnA site…not that is a bit strange. ;)

Actually, you can view your dislike of socializing as an advantage. Being away from people gives you a chance to focus on what is important in life. The isolation gives you a chance to get to know yourself and to learn of yourself. Being along gives you valuable thinking and learning time for anything, really.

eternal_serenity's avatar

@Spinel guess it is strange haha – but getting on fluther is great cause i can’t log off whenever i want and do something else

borderline_blonde's avatar

Look at all these introverts we found on Fluther!!!

@Blackberry I can see it from both perspectives… I think an introvert can prevent themself from missing out on extroverted activities if they just do them in moderation. It’s a balance thing.. I became a lot happier once I stopped giving in to the social pressure to go out every time I was asked and instead just went out when I really felt like it.

eternal_serenity's avatar

by the way I have 3 cats – I wonder if I started on the path of “creepy cat lady” hahaha

Blackberry's avatar

@eternal_serenity Well now you don’t even sound like an introvert at all lol, you just sound like a young person that is extremely mature and well rounded for your age :) I do the same (except with a woman) except that I get antsy and anxious when I’ve been in for too long, but I guess that’s where the difference comes in.

Spinel's avatar

@eternal_serenity To be honest…that sounds like me…:)

eternal_serenity's avatar

@Blackberry that’s how my boyfriend is – he can’t believe how long i can stay in and be completely content. He’s at one of our friend’s houses now and I am “in” and happy as can be haha

Blackberry's avatar

@eternal_serenity Cool Cool :) I think extros and intros make good couples, they can balance each other out. I just thought of that, it kind of makes sense to me.

StellarAirman's avatar

You’ll probably find that you can relate to this article quite a bit. It’s very good.

DominicX's avatar


Ugh…I hate that article. It’s been linked to a million times on this site and I can’t stand it. It’s just one of those “the way to feel better about yourself for being an introvert is to realize extroverts are actually inferior to you”. Bleh…that’s not the way to go.


To answer your question, no, it’s not weird because some people simply are more introverted and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You do not seem to be anti-social or anything, you just don’t prefer social activity as much someone who is more extroverted would.

mollypop51797's avatar

Of course it’s normal. You, and many others, are just one of those people who don’t need people around them 24/7. What is weird, is when you don’t have friends because you push them away, don’t like people, are mean to people, and hide out as a hermit that doesn’t let anything into it’s shell. But, I’m guessing that since you have friends, and since you are on a social networking site, you are not one of those types.

eternal_serenity's avatar

@StellarAirman I liked the article. I see your point, DominicX, but it pegs a lot of characteristics perfectly. I don’t think I’m more intelligent or superior than others or anything, but I do agree that many extroverts don’t understand the alone time issue. They assume that because they like hanging out all the time that I do to and that’s not the case.

princessbuttercup's avatar

For an introvert its normal, they have a lower threshold of tolerance for social stimuli.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

It is not something to worry about. I always preferred the periodic contact with one of a small number of really good friends to parties, crowds or gangs.

I am no more weird that most of you!

faye's avatar

I would have called myself an extrovert when I was younger but still had to have my time at home to recharge. Now my charger is broken!

onesecondregrets's avatar

I get anxiety over this question all the time because I feel like something’s wrong with me for not wanting to do things with people every single day and I’m 20 years old and woah that doesn’t seem normal. Thank you for asking this question, I can breathe a little bit easier. Haha.

slick44's avatar

its not weird, some people are just loners. after all you are your best friend. you never have to worry about disagreeing, or fight about what you want to do. its all you!

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