I had a tragic childhood which I won’t go into, but suffice to say that most of my childhood was taken up with house cleaning, ironing and being beaten by an older brother.

I got married very young and had my child very young, then spent the next 20 years being a mother. I then looked after my parents for ten years until they both died recently. In betwixt all this I worked like shit to try and earn money to support the three people mentioned. I feel somewhere that I lost the ability to live.

Or, should I say, I have never learned how to? I simply do not know how to enjoy myself. I never give myself things I need or do things I think I’d like to do. I get confused about what I do like to do. I have no partner in life, no lover, I never visit friends any more. On a weekend if the weather is great I just stay indoors. I love the Arts, poetry and writing, but do none as I don’t see it as productive for example.

My question is how do you get out there and live when you do not even know where to begin. I am now 47, but told I look no older than 35 so there is still hope??