I know it’s ridiculous but I have never had anyone that I am close to die except for my mother and she died when I was nine. As the oldest of the children, my brothers are relying on me to guide them. I want to run away and hide. I want to forget about everything, I just want this to end.

I can barely think and everyone wants me to prepare and to do paper work and handle all the necessary details. I am lost and need suggestions. Sorry for bothering you with my problems.