This sounds like a very profound question. I don’t understand it, and there is very little that I have such trouble understanding. Maybe if I fumble around in the dark I might gain some understanding.
Acting out? I’m never sure what that means. Frustration? Learning the hard way?
I find myself acting out a lot these days. I never used to (I think). I always kept myself under control. I felt like I mostly understood my own motives.
But now I feel like a puppet. Either some part of myself is controlling me but that part is opaque to me. Or I’m self-destructive. Or, I’ve just given up on my superego and am letting myself do the shit I always wanted to do. I’ve lived my life being good, and that hasn’t made me happy. So fuck it. Let’s try something else. I guess I must be truly desperate.
But I don’t know if I understand. And what is acceptance, anyway? No, I think I’m too ignorant to answer this question. Maybe someone will write something I can understand.