The most self-destructive thing i ever did was to consent to allow my two oldest children to go into the foster care system to placate my wife.
I was severely depressed and suffering from extreme anxiety at the time and I felt helpless to stabilize the situation.
The damage that did to my children and my relationships with them was and is immeasurable. My failure to try and correct my mistakes in the years that followed compounded my initial failure.
I am grateful my daughter reached out to me and over years we have rebuilt an wonderful relationship.
My youngest child suffered living with his cold and neglectful mother but he and I remained close.
My older son (middle child) and I had been very close and my failures cost me that relationship. We are still trying to find a way to have a relationship as adults but we have further to go than perhaps he will be willing to allow. Time will tell.
There are few days where the pain of my self-destructive choices do not plague me.