We found out that a friend is getting married. The conversation went on and some details slipped out that were directed at me. The woman getting married is someone I’ve known since college – she wanted to ask me to be in the wedding. Evidently, she decided not to ask me because, (her words)“What if she was no longer available.” For those of you that don’t know, I have cancer and am no longer actively being treated. My response was, “So she’s worried that I will kick the bucket before the nuptials?” There was the uneasy, “yes” and then I just cracked up. I told the person that relayed the information to me, “no worries” and to me, it was the end of the subject.

My husband told me later that I should have been more delicate, in this situation. I got a little offended. If I am the one with cancer, why do I have to tap dance around everyone else. He pointed out that not everyone has accepted what is going on and I need to continue to be mindful of that fact.—Okay, he might be right; however, it does get tiresome.”

Did I commit a friendship foul and should I readdress this, because I know it will get back to the bride-to-be.

Topics: advice, death, manners, humor, friendship, directness, friendship foul