I could really do with some insight into this. I am not sure if anyone can really answer this question, but I would appreciate it, and your time, if you could perhaps make a deduction based on some of the facts that happened.

I had a very unusual upbringing. In that we moved all the time. I was told I had a younger brother that died. Let’s call him Brad. I then had another brother “Dean”. Dean was a complete handful as my parents told me, and caused untold misery in our household for loads of reasons. My father disowned him. I haven’t seen him for 20 odd years. Nor do I want to. When I was around 10 my mother in an angry moment shouted at me that I wasn’t a wanted child at all. (My parents had issues being parents”) the story went that my mom was going to abort me, but they changed their minds. In later life they said they were glad. I was the “make it all up to them daughter” making up for the loss of Brad and the way Dean was.

Fast forward to the last few years. When my dad was dying, he was very distressed and kept on saying “I am so glad we never got rid of you” but he was upset. So I would just laugh and say it’s OK. He kept saying “you don’t understand?”

After dad passed on, my mom who had by now had a brain haemorrhage and so had very poor short term memory started to ask me where my twin was. At first I thought she was just having a moment. But it was consistent. Then I eventually asked her. She said I had been a twin. And that because of the past experiences with the “other two” had decided to “farm the other twin out”. It kind of fits their parenting style. I would try and trick her, and say how many kids did you have she’d answer four. (You must realize the brain damage to her brain was quite severe). I would say I saw Mrs so and so who is a twin you know and she would answer “like you”. When I checked my birth certificate I was only registered six weeks after birth. My brothers were registered quickly. Which kind of fits in with her story as she was told she said to wait and see which twin fussed less. Once many years ago, we were in a restaurant in Rhodesia and a girl walked in, around 13 the same age as me, and she was identical to me. They were flawed, and kept on staring and commenting.

Do you think it is true? Is this why I never met any of my extended family? Why my aunt ever answered any letters I wrote to try and strike up a friendship with her? Or was it just a dementia like thing? She never made up any other stories? Although when my dad died she would say “Oh I saw your dad today”. So maybe not. What do you think? And I was born at home, so there is no hospital to contact. However I did find out there were 3 girls born on that day. None registered to my father. But would they have registered her to my father? If he did not want to ever see her again?

Topics: life, relationships, lost, family, adoption, twins, lies, life questions, relatives