He is probably just lonely. Just don’t answer the door. Hopefully he’ll get the hint.

Often times the best thing to do is just say what you mean so he understands absolutely… I agree with Dibley though, that he might be lonely; perhaps you could exercise some compassion on the poor fellow.

@Dibley He is both lonely and clueless and he will never ever take a hint.
@bellusfemina You might use the dog as your rescue. Say, “omg let me get this dog out of here, its driving me crazy. Honey, help me with this, and then rush inside.” After you get the dog inside, go back out, from a distance shout something like, “oh glad we took care of him”.....and then go about your business. Do not go close to the fence and do not engage him. Ignore him if he tries to talk to you. At some point though you are going to have to do something that makes you feel like a dog for being so insensitive to him. He, however, is not sensitive at all. So don’t sweat it.

Ooooh, oooh: maybe you can get the neighbor to start walking your dog for you? It could go like this:

You: Well, heidi-ho, goofy neighbor! Gee, our dog seems to just love you! Would you like to start walking him for us? He could really use some more exercise, and it would help us out so much!

Goofy neighbor: Wow, I’d love that! Can I walk him right now?

You: Absolutely! Here’s the leash. You can just drop him back off in an hour.

“Have you ever heard of Amway?”

This guy sounds like subtlety is lost on him, you will have to be frank and direct. Just tell him that you aren’t really interested in talking, and be firm about it. He might hate you for it, but hey, it might be worth a risk.

ask him if he can hold his breath up to 10 mins. that should do the trick.

Try having you and your husband walk around the yard in the nude. This neighbor will surely have SOME social conciousness and leave you two alone.

You can tell him, but you’re sorry. You’re busy and don’t have time to chat now. It’s pretty simple to pull away. “It’s been nice chatting. Now I’ve got to go change the furnace filters.”

Or use the dog. Tell him you don’t think the dog likes him, so could he stand further away please? Or if the dog keeps on barking, just cup your hand around your ear, point to the dog and shrug your shoulders like there’s nothing you can do. Then mime some work and go do it.

Sooner or later, you’re going to have to let him know you don’t want to chat with him. You can couch it in nice terms, of course. I’m sorry. I’d love to chat with you (hand on arm), but I’m just too busy right now. Maybe tomorrow?

@bob_ has a great idea and don’t forget the all time classic, “check it out, the latest Watchtower has arrived!”

It’s kind of a tough situation. I had such a neighbor myself for a couple of years. I just immediately went inside when she started toward me. I would usually say Hi, don’t have time to chat. She moved after a couple of years.

It’s very difficult to be polite to rude people. They just don’t get it, or they wouldn’t be so rude in the first place. You could try to just listen, or pretend to listen, and say “What?” every time you are expected to respond.

I am getting hard of hearing, and I can assure you, people do not like to have to repeat everything they say. If you just say “What?” often enough, he will leave you alone.