Am I missing something? This sounds like depression, not just existential angst. Go see a doctor if this has you really thinking about checking out.
Being really depressed about life is serious business. If this is just blowing off steam, it’s still a worrisome way of doing so.
I can’t tell you life is worth anything, because I have been in a place where it wasn’t. It was my malfunctioning brain that nearly got the best of me. The meds helped. Learning that others appreciated helped. Learning that I didn’t want to hurt my children that way helped. It was a struggle. I see more to live for now, and I never want to go back to the place I was in. Never. I know now how to ask for help if I need it.