It is not something one can do over night, or even in a few days. But the good thing is you’ve been on this journey for a while. The only way to gather self worth and self acceptance is to start creating a life. Just for you. What I mean is write down the things you love doing. If it is cake decorating go on a course. If it is painting join an Art class. Then write down the things you should do that you don’t feel too comfortable with. For example work is often something we should do in order to live a better lifestyle, but the benefits are numerous not only the money. We all should have friends it shows balance in our lives, so maybe that will go under your “should do list”.
Physical things can help too, like start a separate saving account. You will not feel so at the mercy of another if you have a little saved.
Think of people you admire and write down why. Has that person got qualities you would like to possess? Write down the qualities you do have and possess, and like someone said here, on your profile write about you.
We are all are made of good and bad, strengths and fears, accepting them is half way to feeling comfortable.
Start small with manageable bits, else you might just feel like giving up. Consider too that self harming can scare a partner for loads of reasons. Just don’t do it.
Create a list of boundaries, of what you do like and what is acceptable in all areas of your life.
But most of all increase the size of your “posse” people can be your strength at low times, and you do not want to burden your b/f with everything. I am sure you would hate that.