@Adirondackwannabe Screw the spelling. Everybody understands what you mean :)
Though most would agree that respecting yourself and loving yourself are different things, the point is that you have to come out of yourself and go beyond what your perceived boundaries are if you plan to accomplish either of them. And this is where people get confused.
Just because you are born doesn’t mean you are entitled to a life filled with love, nor does it mean that you will be born to two people who love you. It was simply a biological event. What you make of that event is reflected in the decisions you make and the quality of your life. Love is free, monetarily speaking, so the only thing separating you from love is you.
You have to decide for yourself whether you even want love. If living without it is paying off for you in spades, then don’t bother changing anything at all. Continuing in that same vein, you don’t get jack shit unless you work for it, and yes, that even includes love. Pissing and moaning about it satiates you temporarily, but does nothing to answer your long-term needs.
That’s why you end up running over the same old ground, year after year, until you entrench yourself in self-loathing. The damage was caused by YOU…....not the world, not the parents, not society, not anyone. If you view this with logic, what you’re doing clearly is not working for you. So, where does that leave us? If you think the idea of a lone figure fighing valiantly against the world is romantic enough to pursue, then don’t bitch that you don’t have love. In other words, take a look at your choices that prevent you from having it.