“I feel like Life passes me by because my mind is somewhere else, dreaming about this person who I’ve grown and moved apart from. It’s not that I want to stop thinking about him but I don’t want to feel so consumed by my memory of him.”
I can’t believe you asked this before me.. haha.
It is somewhat comforting to know I’m not alone in being absorbed in the memory of another. I honestly don’t know what to tell you. It is so horrifically wonderful isn’t it?
You love thinking about them, but they aren’t even there anymore, so it isn’t going anywhere, but it feels good thinking about them.
What you want is control, like me, you want to be able to remember them but not get so lost in thoughts of them you lose touch with reality (and if you’re like me, end up in a whole load of trouble because of it.)
I find meeting new people helps, making better, fresher memories to focus on, dulls out the ones of him. Breathes life into me again. I don’t want to spend all my time living in the past when there are a million more people out there for me to meet.
Whenever you find yourself thinking about him, stop, and take a breath and remind yourself where you are, what you’re doing, what you need to do and the people currently in your life. I know it sounds tedious and like something out of ‘psychotherapy for dummies’, but it helps me. It is hard, I’ll admit that, but it has worked. Not at once, but over time, which in itself, is a healer.