My wife an I have been having marital problems for a while now. We’ve been in counselling. One of the issues was this one. She wanted me to tell her I loved her more often. She said she didn’t feel like I loved her because I didn’t say it.
I was incredulous! Did all the things I did because I loved her and wanted to make her happy mean zilch? The meals I cooked every night. The shopping; the things I take care of; being there at the hospital when she had her operation; taking into account her desires when we decide to do things, and on and on?
Apparently these things didn’t really mean much. I had to tell her I loved her every day. I spoke to my therapist about this. “I can’t say ‘I love you’ when I’m not feeling that ‘in-love’ feeling, but I do lover her. My whole life is based on our relationship.”
“Would it kill you to just say it, every day?” My therapist asked. “You don’t have to feel it,” she said. “You just have to say it.”
So I say it.
Men and women often seem to be different this way. Women place more faith in words; men in actions, in general.
If you want him to tell you he loves you, just tell him you like to hear the words. They make you feel good. It’s not a big deal. Just makes you feel better.
Maybe he’ll do it.