I have a complex disorder it seems like, which doctors dont ever seem to figure out. One point they said I have Bi Polar, the next they say its my thyroid, the thing is I can control myself or my stress to where people dont know im worried. My thyroid came back normal. I dont like taking medications, the ones they give me anyway, they either make me feel like crap or worse then the symptoms I originaly started with. I’ve been on Lexapro, for anxiety and depression, that made me depressed and feel head cloudy and I never feel like that off the med. I’ve been on Paxil which made me really sick (throw up feeling like, head aches). Also Geodon a mood stabilizer. Also the calazapin which helped went I felt panicy. I have the symptoms of Anxiety, Shortness of breath, weird bowl movements, to light headed, racing heart, at one point or another I have experienced the whole nine yards.

But here is what I’m driving at, I hear and see things, what seem like spirits or what not. I’ve heard a demonic growl by my bed before, and there are no dogs around to make that noise. I’m singing along to a song one day, not near the computer, and then my voice recorder on my computer pops up. Also feeling tingly sensation go through my body like some thing i cant see is just entering my aura some how.

I know I must sound crazy, but I definitely know I’m not schizophrenic, because the computer thing was outside of my head let me remind you. I also dream about things that happen before it happens. Like my BF cheating on me with a blond girl named Ashley in my dream, then bam! A week later that thing happens with a girl i never met before in my life named Ashley, who was yes, Blond! Or a diffrent guy I dated, I dreamed about him breaking up with me, told him about the dream the moment he was about to break up with me, but he didnt until later on because, that spooked him knowing I some how knew. These are called prophetic dreams, I’ve read were the subconscious mind picks up signs your wake mind cant.

I’ve talked to my doctor, they dont know how to go about it either.
In the end Im just curious is it as is what it is, or is it more. I’m affraid of all this crap, I’m getting frustrated, and want to find out weather to deny the way I am, or accept how I am. Plus I’m only 19 and this is really getting weird. Myspace me some answer’s here www.myspace.com/toffeehead19 because I dont check my email at all to be alerted by this website, to much spam, to frustrating lol, so I just never look at it. Thanks for your time and answers.