I don’t know anything about caring for black hair…. but you can probably Google some home remedies. I import shea butter from Ghana and use it in soaps and body lotions. Maybe you can get some and use it in your hair?
http://motowngirl.com/index.php/homemade-hair-recipes.html
http://www.longlocks.com/hair-care-recipes-cookbook.htm#cond10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abeNI-xoK4c
Avocado oil, or the whole avocado you might get at the grocery store. Jojoba isn’t an oil at all, but a liquid wax, so that’s why it’s so conditioning to hair and skin. Almond oil is good for skin and hair too.
I make natural skin care stuff all the time, but I haven’t delved into hair stuff much yet. I have a solid form of hair conditioner, in beaded form. I can mix it up as I need it, using only about 3% of the beads to hot water. It can be left in or rinsed out. If you want an envelope of the stuff to try, I can try and send you some (with all air traffic between our countries stopped, I have NO idea when it would arrive!!) It’s a type of veg protein made from palm that is meant to be good for hair and skin. I just haven’t done anything with this ingredient yet.
I know that those relaxing agents are hard on hair. I had a friend with frizzy hair in school and she would take the home perm kits and use the chemicals from them and instead of putting her hair in rollers first, she would just comb through the chemical to calm down her frizz. But.. she was a white girl with slighly frizzy hair…. I’m not sure it would work on yours. I didn’t think it made her hair look very nice anyway… sort of dry and not shiny at all.
Good luck! With everything! My fingers are crossed for this darn volcano to stop erupting and for the other one, Katja, to stay put and quiet!