Speaking from personal experience, as I am a survivor of verbal, emotional, and occasionally physical abuse.
I would never, and I don’t know anyone who would, use “Oh, well I was abused” as an excuse to justify aberrant behaviour. I think anyone that comes out and says “Well, my parents suck, so that’s why I did ________” is full of shite and should be ashamed of themselves.
However, years of abuse can and does affect your actions years after the fact.
For example, turning in a job application will literally cause me to go into a panic attack. Every time. Even filling out the paper is physically painful, with all the things going through my brain – how many people are more qualified for this than me, how I’ll never be good at this, why would anyone choose me for this job, and even if I get it I’ll do something stupid and lose the job anyway. Everyone there’s going to hate me anyway… – It’s the main reason I still haven’t gone to college. I can’t get through the paperwork. It’s why no matter how much I’m dying to be on stage again, I can’t make myself show up for a community theater audition. And I know I’m a good actor. But of course I’ve _only been in school plays and I’ve only had the one acting class, and everyone knows I can’t sing…._ There are times the panic attacks will come on if I have to answer the telephone, regardless of who’s on the other end. How will I know what to say? Of course I’m going to say something stupid. That’s all I ever say…
Do I tell people “I hate my parents because they made it so I can’t do this”? No. I just don’t do it. I clam up like a good girl and take my verbal beating from the voices I haven’t actually heard in two and a half years, and try to breathe and get past it.