Yes.
Do I love my abusers? No. Do I have a relationship with my abusers? No. But do I understand why things went down as they did and release them from responsibility for my current life? Yes.
If your parents or caretakers abused you, they did what they did not because of contempt for you, believe it or not, but because they honestly didn’t know how else to handle their own personal issues, so they took them out on you. Now whether you should reconcile is another matter. I have chosen not to do so because it would be impinging on my personal physical and emotional safety to stay in contact. YMMV..
Yes, bad things have happened to many of us, but from my own experiences, I finally realized that I survived. I made a decent life for myself regardless of whatever things I’m dealing with right now. It could be a lot worse. A lot worse. I am not weak. I am responsible for how my life goes today, not them.
Now you may have to forgive them every day for a while. You have to keep reminding yourself that you are the adult who’s in charge now of how you feel every single second. You are responsible now for every decision you make. That’s what forgiveness does for you, and it’s a good thing. You’re supposed to grow up and take over your own life. If necessary, re-parent yourself. It’s not easy, but it can be done. You have to be the one to encourage yourself to take risks or to be OK with failing or to stand up for yourself. And you’re responsible for not putting your issues onto your friends, family (that you still speak to :) ) and SOs.
Forgiveness is for you. Yes, they are responsible for what they did, but to keep being angry over things that happened 10, 20, 50 years ago, whether or not they’ve apologized, i; it corrodes your soul to hang on to that stuff. Forgive them and let whatever happened (and them, if need be) go.