Fluther: What's your favorite metaphor for someone who's "not the sharpest knife ...

What's your favorite metaphor for someone who's "not the sharpest knife in the drawer"?

Asked by janbb (62882

) April 23rd, 2010
59 responses
“Great Question” (9

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Over the years my family has enjoyed collecting metaphors or expressions for someone who isn’t too swift. Two of my favorites are: “about two sandwiches short of a picnic” and “about three bricks shy of a load.” Got any others?

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Topics: English, language, metaphors

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Answers

He wasn’t the one who invented blackpowder, he.

rebbel (35550

)“Great Answer” (4

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A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Vunessuh (16727

)“Great Answer” (9

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Kind of like a 40 watt bulb.

wundayatta (58722

)“Great Answer” (2

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$wtfrickinfrack's avatar$

He’s got a bad case of doofus

The door opens…but the elevator isn’t there…

wtfrickinfrack (1354

)“Great Answer” (5

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One taco short of a platter.
Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.

squidcake (2639

)“Great Answer” (3

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Not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.

jeanmay (3429

)“Great Answer” (1

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If his brain was made of dynamite, he couldn’t blow his own head off.

cfrydj (919

)“Great Answer” (2

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dumb as a mud fence

dpworkin (27085

)“Great Answer” (2

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seven beers short of a six-pack
‘bout as sharp as a marble
I’ve got a spoon sharper than you
‘bout as dumb as a stump
well, the light’s are on but I don’t think anyone’s home
I think his hampster’s off the wheel
I’d say I could smell smoke but I don’t think there’s anything up there to burn

wonderingwhy (10815

)“Great Answer” (2

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Response moderated

$wtfrickinfrack's avatar$

@SuperOMG not nice :(

and – His bread isn’t quite done xD

wtfrickinfrack (1354

)“Great Answer” (1

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@wonderingwhy
Great ones!
Made me chuckle.

rebbel (35550

)“Great Answer” (1

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A dumb ass SuperOMG also works

liminal (7769

)“Great Answer” (5

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A few biscuits shy.
Dumber than a box of rocks
As much sense as god gave a donkey.

gemiwing (14718

)“Great Answer” (2

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The clue meter is reading zero.

A few currants short of a fruitcake.

I drank from the fountain of knowledge; you just gargled.

Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.

Makes Homer Simpson look like a Noble Prize winner.

Knitting with only one needle.

wundayatta (58722

)“Great Answer” (2

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Response moderated

as dumb as a bag of hammers

mcbealer (10229

)“Great Answer” (1

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everyone refresh your screen.

skfinkel (13537

)“Great Answer” (1

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Good lord. I had no idea there were so many! I’m just gonna go with sharpest tool in the shed.

silverfly (4055

)“Great Answer” (2

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Yup, i think we found the missing link.

rebbel (35550

)“Great Answer” (2

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their elevator doesn’t reach the top floor

mcbealer (10229

)“Great Answer” (3

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He’s not the sharpest light bulb in the drawer.

Wait… oh, maybe that person is me. ~

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities (20019

)“Great Answer” (3

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Dumb as a hair metal band

Michael_Huntington (15982

)“Great Answer” (4

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“A few prawns short of a galaxy” won’t make sense to anyone except a Simpsons fan, but I love that one.

There’s also “a few Bradys short of a bunch”. I think I heard that one from my mom.

DominicX (28808

)“Great Answer” (4

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This is too much fun…

Of necessity, a pacifist in the battle of wits.

His head is better used as a paperweight.

One sandwich short of a picnic.

Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade is like putting a pea on a six-lane highway.

One sausage short of a barbie. (Australian)

He has a room-temperature IQ.

He has the spark of an underwater cigarette lighter.

wundayatta (58722

)“Great Answer” (5

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$wtfrickinfrack's avatar$

wow… I fold…. @wundayatta totally wins haha! :)

wtfrickinfrack (1354

)“Great Answer” (1

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A few peas short of a casserole.

Vunessuh (16727

)“Great Answer” (2

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Response moderated (Writing Standards)

@wtfrickinfrack [Smugly] Superior research will do it every time! You didn’t think I thought those up, did you?

wundayatta (58722

)“Great Answer” (2

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All he wants for christmas is his missing chromosome.

gorillapaws (30526

)“Great Answer” (4

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as dumb as a brick hahhahahhahahah a brick hahahahhahahahaha

deni (23141

)“Great Answer” (1

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He forgot to stand in line the day they were passing out smarts.

bobbinhood (5898

)“Great Answer” (2

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Two cups short of a wonderbra.

filmfann (52236

)“Great Answer” (7

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“The lights are on, but nobodies home.”

LeotCol (2275

)“Great Answer” (2

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Half a bubble off plumb.

HungryGuy (16044

)“Great Answer” (1

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@wonderingwhy, I love ‘seven beers short of a six pack’ :)

lfino (1489

)“Great Answer” (1

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Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Dumb as a bag of rocks.

Neizvestnaya (22662

)“Great Answer” (1

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I am a big fan of “not the brightest crayon in the box.”

tragiclikebowie (4805

)“Great Answer” (1

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Elevator doesn’t go to the top floor
A donut shy of a dozen
You don’t travel in the fast lane
The attic’s a little dusty
No one’s home
Paddling with one oar

thriftymaid (6993

)“Great Answer” (2

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Many jellies short of a fluther.
A toilet and a sink short of a head.
One cerebrum short of a brain.
Hired a ghost writer to help her with the notes on her hand.
Read Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity” to study for a paternity test.

Brian1946 (32281

)“Great Answer” (1

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The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.

Smashley (12412

)“Great Answer” (4

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Somewhere, a village is missing it’s idiot. sorry, if that one’s a bit harsh
Batteries not included
Dumb as a post

shpadoinkle_sue (7188

)“Great Answer” (1

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As thick as three short planks.
As thick as a brick.

downtide (23815

)“Great Answer” (1

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My father’s…‘He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the bottom.’

another one he would say is ‘Thick as pig shit.’

cazzie (24516

)“Great Answer” (3

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Couldn’t plan his way out of a wet paper bag…. is one from NZ I liked.

cazzie (24516

)“Great Answer” (2

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Not the full shilling
Thick as a gurkhas foreskin.

ucme (50047

)“Great Answer” (2

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Not the brightest starfish in the sea.

Zen_Again (9931

)“Great Answer” (1

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One sandwich short of a picnic.

pearls (2693

)“Great Answer” (1

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My very egotesticle Econ professor from England used to say of his less then favorite pupils that they were “blessed with divine simplicity”! :)
I try and use it as often as I can.

Bagardbilla (4580

)“Great Answer” (3

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One bit short of a byte.

HungryGuy (16044

)“Great Answer” (2

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