Even well socialized children sometimes have a raging tantrum which involves gross disrespect of their parents or other elders.
Most often children whose behaviour is disrespectful of their elders have not been well socialized. They have not been taught to accept reasonable limits and they have not learned how to indicate their unhappiness with a situation in an appropriate manner and at an appropriate time and in a suitable place.
Parents who are confused about their role tend to find themselves dealing with disrespectful children. It is fine for your children to both love you and like you, but it is not your job to be their friend.
Children’s needs must be met and one of those needs is to have guidelines and rules set for them and for those rules to be enforced in firm but appropriate ways.
It is fine to give children an opportunity to express their feelings and desires. Their feelings are to be respected as valid and it is acceptable for children to want things and to say so.
Sometimes the right answer to a child’s want is “no.” The children might be disappointed or even angry and expressed appropriately, there will be no disrespect shown by the children.
Children that are confused into thinking they are the equal or worse still the superior of adults will frequently act in disrespectful ways towards adults.
The time to stop such behaviour is when it first starts to appear. Parents must assert their leadership and expect the children to shown proper respect even when they may not be happy with a situation of an elder’s decision in that situation.
It is nearly impossible to handle such behaviour in older children and adolescents if disrespect has been ignored or tolerated in the children from an early age.
I am offended and angered when I observe disrespectful behaviour from children toward their elders. I expect parents to remove the children from the public situation and deal with their children privately. If parents need help dealing with their disrespectful children, a family oriented intervention is usually the only effective way to solve such problems.