I believe in full disclosure, as I have had previous relationships where the other was involved with someone else or other activities that I disapproved of.
My current bf and I created a joint email account for us both, as well as maintaining our own email accounts (and each of us has several). We do not have the passwords for the others’ individual emails. Actually, I think I told him the pw to one of mine, and I think he had me look up something for him once… The point is, we didn’t write them down or anything.
I had surgery several days ago, so I gave him my iPhone, it’s unlock code, and the pw information to all my social network accounts so he could post updates for my friends. Those he did make note of, and I don’t mind that he has them…
Yes, it is about trust. I trust him to have that information and not to use it against me. I also trust him in terms of his moral character and the nature of our relationship, so I am not concerned that I don’t have the same access to his information.
In my previous relationships where I was betrayed, I trusted them until changes in their behavior made me snoop. I found what I had feared. In my current relationship, I feel I’d be more likely to ask him what’s triggering any behavior changes before I went snooping. For one thing, snooping is wrong – regardless of what you find – and so trust has been betrayed in both directions.
But the main difference this time is the man that I am involved with. He is self-actualized and mature. There are no games with him in any area of his life. With the others there were clear indications that they had insecurities or other issues they struggled with that really should have made me realize that they were not ready for a committed relationship in the first place.