unfortunately so honey. I remember when the pains in my joints started, first off in my wrists and hands (now its a case of find a place it hasn’t settled lol) and I hated that I’d be doing something I loved, like knitting and would have to stop because my hands would swell up so badly I couldn’t hold my needles. I hate that I have to plan everything out now, I can no longer be spontaneous because I know there will be consequences of my actions. Example, I felt good yesterday and it was sunny out, so I decided to do laundry and hang it outside (doesn’t bedding smell glorious when its been dried outside) and I could do that because I didn’t have work today. I know that if I do something like that I am left feeling completely run down next day, like my batteries have gone flat.
So I plan things out, and I have to tell myself no now and again. I had a great day yesterday and am paying for it today, but thats fine because I don’t have work till tomorrow so today I can take things easy and recover enough to face work. It’s not maybe a great way to live but its better than I used to have. Therein lies the secret sweetheart. “Fight the battles you can win”. A very wise nurse told me that and I thank God that she did, its helped me so much these past years. The arthritis hasn’t beat me, I won’t allow it to, and as for depression, it can go to hell. I can’t control how I feel from day to day and some days are still pretty hellish at times, but they pass. So on bad days I just keep telling myself that it’ll pass and I try to be kind to myself till it does.
Go do something you enjoy, something downright silly, just for you, to make yourself smile. Everything passes honey, trick is to put up with the bad stuff as best we can and enjoy the good times enough to help us through the bad. Make an appointment to see your dr for as soon as he gets back ok? then at least you have a target, you’ll know that you only have to hold on till a definite date and time and that might help you relax a little? thats what I do when mine is on holiday. I’ve told him more than once its very selfish of him to need holidays lol. Oh, and to answer your statement above, there isn’t a single thing wrong with you, and anybody ever says there is, you point them in my direction, I’ve gotten pretty handy with my cane these past few years and I’ll give them a shin bruise they’ll not forget :-) <hugs>
love and hugs xx