Social Question

Cupcake's avatar

NSFW: Is it wrong for parents to force their child into after-school sports for them to have more "alone time"?

Asked by Cupcake (15502points) May 5th, 2010
26 responses
“Great Question” (3points)

Even if that kid ends up getting hurt in said sports?

Even if the alone time means getting busy in the shower?

Unethical?

Thoughts?

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Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I think it is wrong to force their child into anything. A parent shouldn’t have to force a kid to do anything especially just to make time for nookie. Get it on when the kids are in bed or put on a good movie for them and then go at it but to force them into a sport just to be able to knock boots IMO seems quite Draconian in concept.

Trillian's avatar

Wow. I don’t know the right answer. I was forced into playing piano and flute. Never sports, but I think kids should do at least one extra curricular activity as opposed to playing video games and watching tv.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I think it’s wrong to make a child take up an after school sport where they incur injuries against their will. Getting injured in a sport you choose it different. Thing is, anyone who’s ever participated in school sports knows parents are always on the go so I’d like to know what these parents chose that gives them some private time ;)

skfinkel's avatar

It is important for parents to have alone time, but I would suggest that after school sports is not to be engaged in for the parents’ benefit, but for the child’s. These are two separate things that need to be dealt with individually. The parent’s priority is the child’s best care.

Cupcake's avatar

Eh… no need to be so serious in the social section.

It’s just one of those things we joke about in our house. Ever since the young one quit track, our adult time together has dropped quite a bit. Once a week or so, one of us says, “Gee, why can’t we make him go to track… hahaha.”

laureth's avatar

There are plenty of other things that the kid could be encouraged to do after school that might be more aligned with his or her desires and talents. Chess club, Students Against Drunk Driving, Yearbook, Debate, whatever. Heck, back when I was in school, my mom had me do the Latch Key kids program (a place to sit and study for kids whose parents wouldn’t be home from work until several hours after school ends) so she could do whatever she did at home alone all day.

I also agree, however, that even though you may not want to picture your parents getting busy in the shower, it is important for them to have alone time, too. The kid might be their entire world, but if they don’t take time for each other, bad things can happen.

Cupcake's avatar

It’s not like he doesn’t like sports. He loves them. He just kept getting injured and now he’s home after school. Every.Day.

DominicX's avatar

It doesn’t matter what the reason is, it’s wrong to force your child into activities. Now, is it wrong to encourage your child to do certain activities because you want more alone time? I don’t see much wrong with that. It’s not like the kids aren’t getting anything out of it. Just make sure they aren’t those kids who do nothing but school and activities and have no free time.

thriftymaid's avatar

When your kids play sports you have less time. Sports take up a lot of parents’ time (and money).

Blackberry's avatar

There’s different things you can do to get time alone, every kid likes movies, make them go see a movie and then get it on all in two hours.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I think its very ethical to get your kids into sports.
Nookie time is just a fringe benefit.

Sports teach teamwork, individual effort, the thrill of victory and how to deal with defeat.
Kids can just as easily injure themselves on the Wii.

If the kid isn’t athletic, get them into some sort of extracirricular physical activity at least.

Conclusion: It’s worse not to get your kid involved in after school sports.
That’s when the bad kids are all out getting high, getting pregnant and getting in trouble with the law.

Keep ‘em busy and you keep ‘em out of trouble.

How is this nsfw?

casheroo's avatar

Force no. I don’t think kids should be forced into sports. Find a hobby they want to do, whether it be a sport, or club or whatever.
Having sex whenever the kids are out of the house is never a bad thing.

LeotCol's avatar

I think people are reacting a little weird to the word “force” here. I don’t see any problem with it. The kid gets exercise and probably makes friends doing it.

When I was a kid I used to be I was forced to go to school everyday, to study for exams and to learn piano. I’m glad I was.

ubersiren's avatar

Yes. It’s wrong to force your kid to be out of the house so that you can have sex. What’s wrong with doing it at bed time or in the morning before the kid gets up? Also, it’s not doing the child any favors being in an after-school activity that he/she can’t stand, especially one that he would be regularly injured in. Good parents would work with the child to find activities that he likes to do. Or just send him to grandma’s house for a while after school on Fridays or something.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Find out what the kids like to do. Put them in those activities, then go at it. Simple!

Sarcasm's avatar

Well. I think that reasoning is unfair. And I think sports specifically is unfair.
But to have your kid doing an extracurricular activity is important and good, for the sake of the kid, not for the sake of your sex life.

Spoken as a kid who never did extracurricular activities, by the way. I’m sure that’s no surprise.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Parents shouldn’t force their kids into anything. From my experience with my son playing sports, they don’t give the parents extra free time (at least sports that are not associated with the school).

As far as using that time for sex, I could see that if the kid was staying after school for a few hours if both parents were home at the time, but I really don’t see that giving parents a bunch of nookie time.

andreaxjean's avatar

I would never force my child into any kind of activity. Rather, I would encourage them to take part in extracurricular activities to make more friends and just have a good time… without mentioning the good time that will be had at home while he/she is not there. =]

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well if they like it, it wouldn’t be forcing. I think you should try it.

YARNLADY's avatar

No, I think it would be far cheaper to hire a child care to watch them play video games, then rent a motel room.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Children should be exposed to a variety of extracurricular activities to build their minds and bodies. This should be done primarily for the child’s benefit and should be suited to their interests, needs and temperament. If this afford parents time for intimacy that strengthens their relationship and enhanced the quality of family life, then it is an added bonus.

If these activities are merely an excuse to park their children under the supervision of others so the parents can have more time for intimacy and sex, then the parents priorities are unduly selfish. Once in a while, this can be acceptable but in done on a regular basis, it can be simply selfishness that denies the children valuable contact time with their parents in the hours after school. It come down to a matter of balance of priorities and needs.

fireside's avatar

There was no forcing. In fact, if anyone has a 13 year old, you will know that forcing them to do anything they don’t want to do is pretty impossible, or very unpleasant at the least.

He wanted to do track and enjoyed it, just seemed to regularly get injured since he is not old enough to do weight training to build up some of the muscles that he needed to use for running.

He still does soccer and still goes to grandma’s house, so we do still have plenty of free time : )

Pandora's avatar

I think you can have them try different things, like dance, music, swim team, racing, etc. There are a lot of sports that aren’t exactly dangerous but can give them some other interest other than just watching tv, or hanging out in the streets or playing video games. Nothing wrong with trying to widen their view of the world and build their self esteem.
Let them pick what they would like to do. Or at least what they would hate the least. Only don’t cave in and let them quit in a short while. Make sure they understand they have to try it for at least a season. Unless you see that it really is hurting their self esteem, then you may want to revisit that.
I made my son an daughter join swim team. Neither really wanted too or were any good but they learned alot about swimming and they learned to be strong swimmers. Both quit after the first year but it gave them a more positive adittude about themselves and what they could accomplish if they really give it a try. They weren’t as fast as some of the others but they had great endurance and team spirit.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Trying to force a kid into any activity be it a sport or activity that they do not care for, you invite trouble. Then you have to figure whatever that activity is the alone time might not be worth the fight. Kids do not drive so a parent will have to drive them there and pick them up.

I say the best chance at alone time is to get the kid a sleepover or long play date.

janbb's avatar

Until I read the date, I thought you were planning this for the new baby already!

SpatzieLover's avatar

@janbb tee hee

My son rarely leaves the house. Get creative with your timing. Now you’ll really need to with a wee one, anyway…Maybe that’s what you’l spend time doing prior to induction ;)

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