I wouldn’t want to be pursued, I’d want to be intrigued. Imagine you’re an author and you want people to keep reading your book… you hook them with a mystery on the first page so they have to keep reading to get answers. Then answer those, but bring up whole new things they want to know about. By the end of the book, the reader is so familiar with your world and your characters that they just read because they’re enjoying themselves.
The whole idea of pursuit is kind of gross, because it makes me think that I’d be reluctant or trying to avoid the person. Why would I want to be with someone who makes me feel reluctant? If you think about it, it’s a lot like “no means yes” or “good girls say no,” which are both ways of saying that women don’t know what we really want.
I met two guys at around the same time. The first was a friend’ of a friend. He called often, shared deep and serious emotions early, told me all about himself, and tried to move things quickly into a relationship. The second one was a total stranger I met in a coffeehouse. He started a quick, interesting conversation, and we planned a very casual date later. He revealed his personality to me a little at a time and kept things light and airy. This let us build a nice rapport together, so that when we finally talked about deeper stuff, it felt appropriate. The second situation was more of a give and take.