@janbb My mom actually did say that to one of my teachers!
1st day of high school (true story):
“And if you can’t find the bathroom, follow the smell of shit!”
Thinking to myself; But I’m surrounded by shitheads!
My granddad came with me to back to school night my freshman year.
He looked at a girl in short-shorts and told her “your ass is hangin’ out. This ‘aint a stripper club.”